Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Trust Me, He's a Better Man With Me




Sometimes we have to acknowledge that our ex's are different and maybe even be better with someone else. This is a sensitive subject for a lot of women, me included. Recently, my coward of an ex sent me the text, "I'm Engaged". And my whole world froze........ PAUSE.........


Why? Why would I care? Why would I hesitate? Why would I have an immediate attitude? Because I prepared him to be the man he is today? Or because I gave him a better part of my young adult heart? Or that she now has a better version of who he was? Yes, all of the above. But most imporantly, I didn't really want him like that anymore. I prayed and cried about that man so many times that God's phone went on mute as soon as He heard me utter his name. lol.


The sad thing is that we don't know how to let go and acknowledge that sometimes we are better with someone else. For instance, a man I met recently immediately saw the greatness in me and was asking my ring size, but he was recently in a long term relationship where he was contstantly arguing and not getting any closer to his purpose in life. Or in other relationships where one person drinks and the other is a little more of a casual drinker. The other person acts as a barometer for the one that is a party animal. They merely help mello them out. That same party animal can find a fellow party animal and operate in a chaotic relationship that is so far from what God wants from them. Sometimes different is a good thing.


You see, I know I am a stronger woman for this next man and I know how I need to be loved. My ex obviously didnt have the desire to do that. Notice I said desire, not ability. We each have the ability to be who we need to be for who we need to be it for. It's all about desire. When you want someone or something bad enough, you will do what needs to be done to make it work.


As I get closer to being with "him", I know what I want, what I need, and what I need to do. It's funny how I think about the woman I was with each of the men in my past and it's amazing how I've evoloved each time. In some of my memories, I don't even recognize myself. I was so far from purpose that I looked crazy... lol.. Thank God for mercy and grace. Surely they have followed me all the days of my life.


So, in preparing for a future with someone, let go who you once were and who you once were with. They were built to make someone better just as you were built to make someone else better. In life, it's all about growth. Become better and expect better. Believe me, it makes all the difference.


Moving farther from memories of him, closer to visions of me.....


-Mel

2 comments:

S Jones Aka Shirley said...

Yes This Post Is The Truth....All Men Are Capable of Trying To Make Things Work....But Question Is Do They Have The Desire And If They Don't ...Goodbye..hmmmm I Like It

Krystal said...

I really enjoyed this post. It definitely reconfirmed some things. Thanks Melissa.