Friday, June 25, 2010

Don't Let Your Ex Mess Up Your Next

Mmmmm mmmmm...mmmmm... I'm shaking my head right now because I am in a heavy BlackBerry messenger conversation with my big (spiritual) sis. In true fashion of the enemy, I start the day off really excited and optimistic about life and then I get a text from her, "girl, have you seen the video?" I knew in my spirit it was my ex getting engaged. I just KNEW it. She was like, "yep... you want to see it?" I bit the bullet, told her to send the link and I watched it. *pulse racing.... eyes bulging* I watch it, then I'm good. Didn't feel the way I thought. I knew it was coming, just a matter of when.

Rewind about 10 years ago when I first met him where I just knew he would be the one. We dated officially a little more than a year and spent the rest dating others, but "loving" one another. In a true unhealthy fashion of course. We would still be with other people but always found a home in one another. Such a mess. I know. Nothing worst that carrying a torch for a love that has no desire to be lit. Whatever. Long story short, I watch a video today of him proposing to someone else. I had a complete out of body experience I swear I did. It was like I was watching a complete stranger. Like God had removed the intense emotions that I intended to exert. I showed the video to my BFF, mom, and lil sis, everyone was like, "are you ok?" YUP! I'm good. Lol..

My big sis was like, "girl we will pray for him". *record scraaaaaaaaaaaatch" No ma'am, I'm not praying for him. lol. In true big sis fashion, she urged me to be bigger than my emotions, bigger than the years I had thrown in the ring, bigger than the memories, the pain and hurt. Honey, that is a TALL order. Then she said, "don't let your ex mess up your next". #message! There it is. I had to get over that hump (again) and see that God was merely preparing me. (Yet again...)
God wants us to be big enough to let go of the past so we can grab hold on to the newness of the future. How can you carry something if both of your hands are full? How can your heart begin to cultivate new love if you insist on holding on to the old hurt and pain of a past love. The best way for a plant to grow is to cut it. About a month ago, our landscaper cut down 3 of our gorgeous hedges in front of the house. They weren't as green as they could be, but I thought they were fine. I came outside to give the (old) man some water and he was like, "yeah, had to cut your hedges there down." I was like, "Um, I didn't ask you to do that, why did you cut them down so low, they look like pom poms." He said, "oh don't worry about it, it was time. They will be back greener, stronger, and taller." You know I was rolling all types of eyes at him. lol. I was like yeah RIGHT! But honey, I'm a believer. Not only were they back in no time, they were even more beautiful than before.

The message here for you today is: IT'S TIME. It's time to let go and see what the future holds. Like the hedges, the love God has promised you will be greater than before. The love that has been set aside for you will be exactly what you need and desire. The love that you will experience will completely overshadow the past hurts and pains you had. You have to be willing to walk away from it all and start brand new.

As much as it makes me sick to write this, I have to pray that God blesses him in the future. Pray for my strength and transformation. As motivational and spiritual as I can be, THIS has derailed me time and time again. This one thing. I have to let it go and give it up. There is NO other way for me to be blessed. The reason I will get an immediate return on this particular prayer is because God knows the level of humility I had to exhibit. Now the Melissa that everyone knew waaaaaaaaay back when (last would be less than sweet and go completely off, BUT since I'm expecting a major breakthrough, I can't afford anymore set backs. I just can't afford to do it. Not at this stage in the game.

So, in efforts to prepare for my next (who I know is reading this), I'm not allowing the past to overshadow my future. I know that the one that is promised for me will far exceed my expectations, but more than anything, be exactly what I need. I can't wait to tell you all the good news. Believe me... it wont be long

Moving from the ex to the next....

*cue "On To The Next" by Jay-Z..... lol

1 comment:

K.Web said...

Whewww Mel your post are reall deep !