Thursday, August 26, 2010

Beware of Tailor Made Distractions

As my journey in God treads a deeper course, I find myself running into more and more distractions than ever before. Its like when I say, 'ok God, use me', its a green light for all kinds of tricks of the enemy to be deployed. I'm like, 'wait, I'm on a mission for you Jesus, can I get some back up?'. And I hear God say, 'Don't u think I see all that's going on? Don't u think I know all that WILL going on?'. And all I can do is laugh. God is all knowing, these distractions aren't foreign to him.

I'm a quintessential homebody for all of those who truly, truly know me. I love to be curled up in my pink wool robe, listening to some sweet neo soul, or simply watching The Notebook. Or even just cooking up a new recipe from the Food Network. I just love the comfort of being at home. Well, every now and then I like to get all dolled up to hang with the girls or my homeboys. Now, my 'dolled up' definitely isn't some cute little dainty dress or skirt. I definitely press the envelope with my attire with a little skin here and there. Just enough to let know folk know I'm not some hog. Lol. Apparently I don't give off the 'church mouse' vibe because honey they come on STRONG!
Just this weekend I went to a few day parties with my girls just to catch up and make sure I still "had it" in a sense. I swear I'm a man magnet (or maybe its just my ancestry that follows behind me in the form of my glutious maximus. Lol). I usually attract the clean cut, 9-5 dude. But lately, I've been getting the NFL player looking dudes and of course, one finds me in the middle of this party. He was SO adamant that we were supposed to be together. Blah, blah. Now, God knows a few months ago I would have been at his house cooking up a meal and playing right into his maddness. Thank God for JESUS! lol. I can see right through follishness. He defintiely thought he was saying all the right things, but I am so over the month long romance BS. It really isn't worth tarnishing the budding relationship I have now. It's funny that the moment I find a man that is pretty much what I need, all these new tailor made distractions emerge. Honey, that devil doesnt have anything else to do. Once upon a time I thought I wanted to be with a football player, a coach, or just an athlete over all, and clearly the enemy knows that. Little does he know, I am so OVER that type of man. I abandoned that idea years ago, but that definitely didn't diminish my taste in men. I still love me a nice set of arms and shoulders. -->*saying Lord's prayer for strength* lol

I say all of this to say that the enemy knows just what you want like God. The package will be made up just like you like it and empty on the inside. The moment you commit to the things of God, the enemy pulls out all stops to get you to get off track. He knows what kind of thing can trigger you back to your old ways. Whether it be through your sex addiction, substance abusing, shopping addiction, using profanity, stealing, you name it. The enemy wants to do everything in his power to keep you from do that which you have committed to doing.

I have had to make a conscious decision to protect all that God has instilled in me and the purpose that He has assigned my life. Because I value who God has made me to be, I have to be mindful of what I do and where I go. No longer should I be content in the ways of the world if I know I am to be used in the kingdom. Its ok to hang with your friends, but even they should see and feel the difference in you. I have never been a drinker so when my girls invite me somewhere and begin to mention drinks they are like, "Oh that's right, Ms. Thang doesn't drink". I have already set a standard that I have yet to go back on. I shouldn't have to keep telling people who I am or what I believe, my character should speak for itself. My actions depict those of a person who is on a quest to get closer to who God wants me to be, so I can merely show them better than I can tell them.
Be wise in your walk and mindful of your talk. If you know you are prone to certain behaviors or weak in certain areas, avoid falling into the traps. Don't go to certain places. Avoid certain people. Stay away from conversations all together. Whatever you feel will take you away from what God wants for you, just stay away from it. Don't give the enemy any room for error. I think it is important to know yourself better than anyone else. What works for some may not work for you. Protect what God has placed in you at all cost, it will be worth it in the end. The stronger you become, the easier it will be to avoid those tailor made distractions. You will merely laugh at them. Trust me, nothing is worth losing the treasure God has placed in you.

Know that the enemy is out to distract you and keep you from kingdom living. Be wise in your walk.

Using my 20/20 to spot those tailor made distractions,


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Give 'em Something To Talk About

You never know who is rooting for you. Have you ever heard the saying, 'If God be for you, who could be against you?'. Well, I live by that lovely quote. I think about all the people who have essentially spoken against my future. But recently, I've gotten the most random messages from friends all over. 'Girl we're rooting for you', 'You make me want to believe', 'I don't say much, but I'm so happy for you". I realized that we all have silent cheerleaders.

Throughout life, the enemy wants you to think you're all alone and that no one wants to see you do well. That is hardly the case. God always sends someone as a confirmation that there are other people in the world just like you. They too are looking for a new career change. They too are searching for a love that is filled with genuine kindness and reciprocity. They too seek an intimate relationship with God that is unconditional and pure. You see, no matter what you're going through, somebody somewhere is dealing with the same issue.

Through my blog and twitter, I aim to be transparent enough to minister to someone and perhaps change perspectives. I have had to put my pride aside to allow God to minister through me. As a result, God has sent people to confirm that my efforts have not been in vain. One of my associates who I don't talk to that often said, "Girl who is this man I read about. Does he have any friends? I am so happy for you. That's what I'm looking for'. I was like, 'Huh? When did I tell you this?'. She was said, 'Girl, we all read your blog. We may not comment, but we read every one'. It's funny, that day I was wondering if people actually read this blog and how it effected them. God kept telling me to keep writing, someone was being healed.

That really hit me. Imagine all the people that may be sitting court side watching you wait for your breakthrough. Taking notes,somehow trying to determine your secret. Wanting to understand your mindset. Trying to determine how they are going to do the same. Its amazing how God can use your situation to instill hope and deliver others. When you are going through just remember that you're not fighting for just your breakthrough, but that of many others. God is going to make you a pioneer of the sorts and you will be a witness to how God's grace is sufficient.

As I go through life's journey and experience all that it has to offer, I'm not going to be hesitant in sharing my story or my glory because someone is ultimately going to be healed as a result. I pray that I get closer to my breakthrough, I am able to help someone get closer to theirs. No matter what I go through, I know God will get the glory, so I'm confident in my story.

Continuing to give them something to talk about,


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Don't You Dare Shut Up!

This has been one heck of a year. I think of all these past 8months has encompassed and I'm simply overwhelmed. Job, house, dad dying,financial roller coasters, family breakdowns, you name it, I've been through it. I didn't know I was built Ford tough until I had to drive through such uneven terrain called life. Through every situation I have had to SPEAK my way out. I have literally had to go directly to the Word, recall what God did, and SPEAK it over my situation. Eventually, change came. I realized that the ultimate goal of the enemy is to make us SHUT UP! And honey, I have been yapping ever since. (lol)

When I was little, there was no bigger curse word than 'shut up'. I can vividly remember sneaking to say it to my little sister when my mom wasn't looking. Mo would say, "Oooooooh, she said shuuut uuuuup'. I would get a good talking to and possibly a time-out. Saying 'shut up' was a major no-no. Now, as an adult, it's still a curse word. With God granting us the power of life and death merely through our tongue, wouldn't you think it was detrimental to shut up? Well if you don't, the devil surely does. He wants to do everything in his power to keep our mouths shut. He knows that we can move mountains, raise people from their sick beds, turn job situations around, restore relationships, and even shift the tides of change, with just our words. All of this with speaking? Yes, all of that and more.

If you go back through the Word, every great leader has had to seek God's face to get the right words and all they had to do was SPEAK over their situation. The very first book of the bible is a prime example, "Let there be light". BAM! There it was...light! He didn't say 'Let thouest flipeth a switch', He merely spoke light into existence and there it was. That's just how powerful words are. God loved us so much, He equipped us with those very same abilities. The problem is, we see the outline of trouble and immediately shut up. Instead raising the volume on our confessions, we cut the mic off all together.

We CAN NOT do that. That's all a trick of the enemy. He knows that God has given us that power and He's so afraid of it. I can remember numerous times this year where I would do nothing but cry myself to sleep. I wouldn't say my nightly prayers, I wouldn't do my confessions, I didn't speak things into the atmosphere. I just went to sleep. I didn't care what happened. Honey, I was such a fool to believe that. My mom said, "No ma'am, don't you shut up! You're gonna have to speak us out of this. God hears you, you better speak it!!" The moment I did, the situation began to shift overnight. Because I went back to speaking. I wasn't shutting up.
Stop everything you're doing right now and write down 3 things that you need God to move on. Once you write them, visualize them being done. Then begin to SPEAK the desired outcome. Do this until the change comes. Now, this is no magic spell or secret, this is an age old practice that people have been doing since the bible days. If you want something to change, you have to change the way you battle them. That's the bottom line. God hears you and will move on your behalf, but you have to believe it 100%.
I urge you today to keep believing and to keep speaking your way out of your situation. Don't let the enemy shut you up. You have to power to move mountains. Try God today!
Continuing to speak my way out of my right now,

Monday, August 23, 2010

Something New

Lately I have been quite introspective. Thinking. Waiting. Wanting. Listening. In a rather still place. Trying to hear from God. Trying to have an encounter with Him. Wanting something new.

You can be in God and in 'church' all your life but still feel a little off course. You can be following His commandments, memorizing every scripture, and knowing every hymn, but still feel a little unfulfilled. Kind of like a glass ceiling in the work place but spiritually. You can see the top clearly, but something seems to be holding you back. My spiritual eye is still keen, but I want to hear Him speak directly. My soul seeks a deeper encounter with Him.

In order to get that moment with Him, I have to intensify my worship, praise,prayer,and giving. I need to send an SOS message to get His total attention. He hears me and sees me but I just want a distinct answer from Him. I won't rest until I do. I wont' be made whole until I know that God is right there with me. I am certainly not lost, I just want more.

My guy and I were talking recently and he talked of just wanting to hear from God. Funny thing is, I'm in the same place. Just yearning for a deeper level. I've been saved for many, many years, but I'm ready for something more. A promotion spiritually. I know there is more to come, just have to push towards it!

In my quest to find a deeper level, I have to do more. That's the bottom line. I can't keep doing the same thing thinking it will warrant new things. I must do something to utilize my gifts, I need to spend more time in the word, I need to work harder towards my purpose, and I need to touch more lives. The moment I turn the intensity up in my works, He will not deny me. I'm ready for the next level like never before and I won't stop until I get it.

I guess this entry is one of those where it is really an open letter. I KNOW I'm not the only one. lol. We all have those moments where we are like, "Ok God, what's next, what do I need to do to get closer to you?" I think it's all a part of the process of becoming greater. When you have a yearning for something, you run faster towards it , you dig deeper to find it, you thirst after it. You have a tunnel vision that is directed only towards your goal, that is to be closer to Him. That's what He wants us to do anyway. Just to be closer to Him.

I don't know who this helped today, but it sure ministered to me .

Seeking the next while I'm in my now...


Sunday, August 22, 2010

Your Testimony Holds The Key To Your Power

I was in church today listening to a message that really didn't put much fire under me. The elder has much revelation but her message it didn't possess that 'umph' that compelled folks to run to the alter like usual. She went through her whole message and it felt like she was holding back. She went back to her seat and came back to reveal her testimony and the church began to rock with praise. Her testimony possessed the power to push everyone to the next level. Then BAM!..the message hit us all.

You see, God allows you to go through life to experience things to minister to others. Now I know you don't want to hear that because neither did I. Lol. But honestly, when I share my testimony with others, people are totally encouraged and transformed. I'm like' what's the big deal', but they are like 'don't you see what God did for you? I know He can do the same for me'. I'm always left speechless and/or in tears. Man! God can use even me to be a blessing? How? Not lil 5'3 me. But yes, He can and DOES every single day.

I look back over the year I have had and how God has pressed greatness out of me. Above and beyond I could ever think. More than I could have imagined. When I tell my story now, people are captivated and encouraged. Not by my doing, but by God. He knew He would ultimately get the glory.

Think about your favorite artist or celebrity. You are drawn by their talent, but you are connected by their testimony because you can identify with them. Whether its drug abuse, molestation, dark secrets, marital issues, loss of family member, you name it, you find your way somehow connected. One of my favorite singers right now is Jennifer Hudson. Her tremendous loss felt like my own. I grieved for her like she was my BFF or even my sister. To watch how God lifted her up in her darkest hour encourages me everyday. God shows me it could be worse and that if I hold on, it can get better. Nothing is above being over turned by God. He's capable of doing it all. Trust me.
I say all of this to say that your testimony holds the key to your power. You wonder why so many ministers are able to rock the church with merely the murmuring of a few words or how a gospel singer can grab the mic and have folk falling out all over the building, it's because of their testimony. When you are enduring life's trials, you are forced to be face to face with God. God wants you to rely solely on Him. He yearns to give you lief changing encounters. When you are at your lowest, God can raise you up. When you get back up, you will possess a power like never before. Your faith will be renewed and you will be able to instill hope into others. Trust and know that your right now is not your forever. For God's grace is sufficient, even through your life's hardest trials
Allow God to keep working through you to help others. You are merely a conduit for someone's breakthrough. At the same time, someone is manifesting a breakthrough just for you. Even as I type this and you read it, God is breaking down strongholds for the both of us. I am standing in the gap believing that God will do just what He promised. The story has yet to be told. Keep holding on. Please. Just see what God is going to do. Your testimony holds the key to not only your breakthrough and power, but might just ignite the flame in someone else. Let Him use you.
Allowing my tests to manifests into testimonies to reveal my true power!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

You're Only Human....

Lately I've been bumping the song 'I'm only human' by Zo and it truly touches my soul. It talks of a relationship that is not perfect, filled with ups an downs, but they love each other in spite of. That song really speaks to me. It makes me realize that no matter how great my relationship is, its never going to be perfect. I kind of okay with that.

Just this past weekend I went to visit my "guy" and his family and I had such a wonderful time. Seeing someone in their natural element is truly insightful. You get to see who they really, really are. I had a chance to spend time with his mom, who has such a genuine heart towards God. Of course she told me about him, but the one thing that stood out was her saying 'He's not perfect, but he's great'. That stuck with me. He's willing and ready for God to use him. That's just what I need. When someone is 'perfect' it means there is no work left to be done right? There's no error, no room for growth, no variation. Just perfect. Who wants that? Lol.

In relationships we have to strive towards excellence and completion, not necessarily perfection. The reason God brings certain people in our lives is to simply help us become better. I think about the men that have come in my life and what I've taken away from each relationship, good and bad, and I can see what God was (and still is) doing. In my relationship now, its easy, no pressure. I let him have his space when he needs it and I push him when necessary. He does the same for me. Never overdoing anything or trying too hard. I guess because we possess the same goal of being "happy", we are done with forcing things. Coming from the relationships we've come from, it feels good to just be who we are. And that is just perfect for us.

When your goal is to be closer to God, all other things fall in line. You have to make a conscious decision to love someone in spite of. Whether they text you back immediately or always take your call. Whether they remember every little detail or know exactly what to say. You have to love a person for their soul and whole they truly are, flaws and all.

I aspire to experience the kind of love that is in constant pursuit of euphoria. When I say euphoria, I mean a place that is filled with balance, happiness, understanding and a sense of completion. A love that shatters common definitions of love. One that is tailor made for he and I. That's all I am concerned about. What works for us. That's the thing when you are 'human', you can be just who you are. God will send you someone that 'gets you' and understands your purpose.

In the past I have been guilty of being jealous, petty, easily angered, all that not so good stuff. I'm over that. I refuse to allow the enemy to rob me of what God has blessed me and who He has brought into my life. I am not going to let the past dictate my future and occupy my present. That's operating in confusion and honey, who has time or energy for that? lol

So in efforts to celebrate my ability to be human, I am not going to hold back. I'm going to live life to the fullest and give my all every chance I get. In the process, I might just fall madly in love. If not, at least I can say I tried my best. With him, I'm not going to stress it, push too hard, or make him move any faster. I will love him with an Agape love and perhaps it will transform into that good ol' Eros loving. Until then, I will keep being human.

Humanly loving all that I've been given,


Friday, August 20, 2010

If He Did It, He Will Do It !

In these day and times, it's so easy to look at where you are and feel like you will never get to where you want to be. It's easy to become overwhelmed and feel like life has raged a war against you. Trust me, been there, done that, designed and sold the t-shirts for it. lol. In the midst of my angst and frustration, I am always reminded of when God delivered me. If He pulled through for me so many other times, this time will be no different.

In our weekly bible study, each of must bring a list of 3 things God did for us the week before, no matter how big or small. Before we can ask for God to perform another miracle on our behalves, we must remember what He's done in the past. The power of putting things in writing is simply incredible. Each week I have more than 3 things that God has done for me. Whether it is as small as finding a parking space, getting the last seat on a flight, meeting a man that makes my soul smile, or $1000 being in my account. God is in the business of taking care of those He loves. So while I'm remembering what God has done, I can confidently believe God for what He will do.

Just last night I did the closing prayer. I never really know what to say up until it is time for me to pray. So in the midst of me praying, I begin to decree and declare a supernatural financial breakthrough for each of us. For money to be in our accounts by Friday. Now, I was merely speaking things into existence. I felt in my spirit that God was stirring something up. So as I came back upstairs to have some private time, I get a text from my mom saying "you are a true prophetess of God. I just checked my account and I have an unaccounted for amount of money that just popped up." You see, I CONFIDENTLY prayed a prayer filled with expectation, it got God's attention.

I immediately began to praise God. Not just because money was showing up, but because it was clear that God was listening. That He heard every word spoken and has seen every tear that has fallen. This past weekend I visited my "boo" and we went to church where a guest pastor asked everyone to sow a seed to get a breakthrough. I didn't have my check book so I just emptied out my purse. It was on my heart to sow $100, but I forgot to leave a check with him to give to the church. God told me to sow the seed and mail it off. So as I finished talking to mom, I wrote a check to mail off to the church. On the way to Fedex, I was updating my cousin on bible study and she said, "Girl, I forgot to tell you I'm putting $120 in your account on Friday." I just started shaking my head. Within 4 minutes, God had already replaced the seed I had sown. Then I woke up this morning and my godmother left a $50 check for me on the counter "just because". Man, I already in the overflow zone and it hasnt even been 24 hours yet.

I am in awe of God and all that He continues to do in my life and those all around me. I just keep seeing how He covers me with His favor, grace, and mercy, I am simply humbled. God is so incredible. I am not perfect and I don't do everything right, but I'm exactly who I need to be in God's eyes. That's the amazing thing. No matter how far you think you are away from where you need to be, you are getting closer and closer to it everyday. So each day that I live, I am always in prayer. No matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, no matter the issue. Nothing is too hard for God.

One of my favorite stories in the bible right now is where Hezekiah asked God to lengthen his years and turn back the sundial. Do you know how DOPE that is? That God would do that for one person. That He would literally change the course of time, days, the orbit of the sun! I read that every time I think my prayer request is too grand or too hard. I have to stand boldly before his throne knowing that God can and will do just what I need him to do.

So in your life, don't think that God hasn't heard your request or that His grace no longer covers you. He hears every word. Trust him. Hold on. Don't give up. If He did it then, He will do it now. It's only a matter of time.

Trusting and knowing that it WILL be done,


Thursday, August 19, 2010

Don't Stop Dreaming.....

Well, I guess you all want to know what have I been up to huh? Well, if I had all day I would be able to tell you. lol. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, since I don't I will bring you up to speed for the most part. Since leaving my other "job" I have constantly been asking God, "What is it that you saw me doing"? Each time, God tells me its already before me. Everything I need in life, I already possess. So I keep pressing forward each day finding inspiration in the smallest things and find my way closer to what I think God wants me to be doing. In the midst of my journey I have been writing and just doing me. Somewhere along the way the right person was reading and it lead me on a journey that has simply made my heart overflow.

When my father first became ill, I felt like the world around me was crumbling, I simply didn't know how we were going to sustain a loss of someone so substantial. It was the most frightening journey that I have ever taken. Being the oldest of 3 girls, I was my dad's best friend. He was my confidant. He and I used to talk about everything. When he died, I didn't know how to put my words together like I used to. I am not an extremely verbal person when it comes to my most inner thoughts and feelings, so I took to writing. Whether it was an inspirational tweet, a riveting quote on facebook, or a thought provoking blog post, I found a way to get it all out. All while I was writing I was not only being healed, but I was ministering to a man 600 miles away. He too was on a quest to get closer to who God wanted him to be and my words soothed his journeying soul. Somehow along the way, our souls began to speak to one another. Our worlds collided one day in Atlanta and have been inseparable ever since. I, like Ruth, was found in the midst of doing what God asked, and have been blessed as a result.

I didn't write this post to be all lovey-dovey, although that's where I am right now.. lol. I am writing this to encourage you to keep dreaming. Never let go of your conception of happiness or what you think you deserve. You see, I have always had this "idea" of what I wanted in a man or what I thought he should look like and people always told me to snap out of it and be realistic in my approach. I never argued with them. I always went to God in prayer about the man I was to end up with. I prayed for a man that loved God, treated his mother right, respected & emulated his father, loved his siblings, had a solid career, an entrepreneurial mind set, a heart for the community, a great dresser, a smile that melts my soul, eyes that told me it would be ok, and a level of passion that matched mine. Not that unrealistic right? Right.. lol.. I continued to hope for this man that seemed like a figment of my imagination knowing someday I would encounter such a being. I knew that if I prayed enough and stayed on the right path, I would run eventually run into him.

I am here to tell you that my dreams are my right now. I crossed paths with my "him" and I have been so blessed. I have never met a man kinder, more hopeful for the future, more resilient, more open, more internally sound. This man has renewed my hope on so many levels that words cannot fully encompass that which I am experiencing. I am not one to reveal all that I truly feel but I would be remiss if I did not write an ode to the man who has helped me dream again. I have always been whimsical in my thoughts and aspirations for the future, but never would I have imagined he would find me miles and miles away. Believe me, we are not perfect, nor are our circumstances, but he has renewed my belief in finding a genuine soul. The more I get to know him, the more I am sure. Meeting his family, learning his history, understanding his past, makes me all that more aware that God is able to do just what he promised to do.

I think more than anything, I know that when I dream, I must be specific. I have to know what to look for when it finds me. The funny thing about God is that while He answers our prayers, He will still make sure our "answer" is saturated in purpose and with pure intentions. No matter what we think may be right for us, God always tailor makes our breakthrough. I am confident in knowing that is what He has given me in him.

It's almost indescribable. Its like believing in a rainbow and you finally see one up close and in person. You are merely speechless. Not only is the rainbow remarkable, but the fact that your belief has not been in vain. It's funny how the enemy makes you think you're crazy for holding on to what God promised. Like you are a fool for believing that you will someday get what you deserve. I am here to tell you that you need not stop believing. Hold on to what you want and to what God said he would do.

I don't know what road he and I will take in the future or what is in store, but I know what my heart feels....full. To know that God has me in the palm of His hands in the midst of my life's storm is the greatest feeling in the world. During one of the worst times in my life, God was able to send me a tailor made man for my circumstances and my journey. Don't get me wrong, I am not making this man to be a super hero, because those certainly aren't my intentions. I know he's not perfect and that things won't always be rosey. I just know that God has blessed me immensely by sending this man in my life. I will do everything in my power to be a blessing to him as he has been to me. Words cannot express the way he has transformed my belief. For that, I am forever grateful.

I leave you with this, "If you stop believing, who will you be disconnecting from? Whose life will you be altering? What part of the universe will lack because you have chosen to give up? What soul will be empty without you?" You can be the missing link to some one's greatness. All it takes is a moment to change some one's life. Some of us will be so fortunate to find someone to make us whole for a lifetime. God can do it, just keep believing.

Loving every minute of this dream because it's now my reality,


Moving in Confidence

Yeah, I've been on another "break" I know, I know.... lol... But I always come back stronger so journey with me for a moment will you....

Over the past month, I have experienced SO much. From financial battles & triumphs, family issues, relationship growth, travels, miracles, you name it! In all that I've been through, I have seen God's hand like never before.

Financially, this has been the most liberating and testing time of my life. I have had to trust God every step of the way while moving in confidence and in faith. When I left my job, I had no real plan ahead, I just knew I had to move in obedience and I had to move swiftly. Never would I have known that my father would pass shortly after that. Or that I would have to help my mother keep both households together in 2 states. Or that I would go on over 15 trips in a 5 month period. Or that I would be the spiritual backbone for my family. Or that I would find a way to financially support myself and not have a traditional 9-5. I have had to stand confidently in what God told me to do.

Just recently I reached my 6 month mark of unemployment and you know I was about to jump off a 1 story building.. lol. I was like "WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAT!!? God what am I going to do?"I had to calm myself down immediately. But I kept hearing God say,"Trust me". I had an erie calm come over me. I called the main office and asked why it had been suspended and they told me that the state's resources had been exhausted until Congress decided otherwise. So for 3 weeks I lived as though I had money coming in, I chose not to focus on the unknown. Instead of being depressed and living like someone who didn't believe God, I got to work in the spirit realm. I literally had to be picked up off the floor from praying and crying. As I began to go boldly before the throne, declaring that God give me a 24 hour turnaround, I felt a shift in the atmosphere. Breakthrough had occurred. When I woke up the next morning, I had ALL my back pay of money and a little extra in my account.

You see, as my back was up against the wall, I didn't fret, I didn't curse God, I didn't get upset. I prayed and cried. Then cried and prayed. I knew God was up to something, I just had to press my way out of it. He literally showed up in the midnight hour and delivered me.

For the past month, my mother, my sisters, Godmother, cousin and I have been having weekly bible study. With my parents being pastors we have lived and breathed church, but God said what we did in the past is not all that we will do. There is still work to be done. So my mom got in her spirit that she was supposed to start a women's group amongst us and then open it up to others. The moment she was obedient to this task, God began to break strongholds and fight battles that we have long been struggling with.

We have had to stand confidently in what God has promised us. Confidence is not fearing the unknown, it's looking it right in the face and knowing that God is more than able. Confidence is knowing that He will do just what He said he would do. Confidence is knowing that he will do it, helps us remember that He did do it, and understand that He will do it.

I think over the past month, I have gotten even closer to God. Not just because I needed "stuff" but because I needed the comfort in knowing that everything will be ok. Knowing that someone had my back and loved me unconditionally. I am so strengthened to know that my story has yet to be told.

I leave this scripture with you from Hebrews 10:35-36- "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He promised."

(*insert shout here* This is SUCH a powerful word!)

I am confident that the best is yet to come and I'm waiting for it.

Confidently speaking,