Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Be Ready When It Comes

Many of my girlfriends and I have been on this journey of self awareness, life definition, and finding that "one". With this journey it has taken great faith, supplication, and belief. We have had to deal with a lot of counterfeits, experienced many disappointments, and been on an emotional roller coaster. Through it all, we have held on to what God promised and never looked back. The funny thing is, the tides are changing. The things we've prayed and cried for are coming to pass, but are we really ready?

My girl and I were talking about the dating scene recently and thinking about all the men we've dated and the ones that we are "thinking" about being with now. Man, God really might be answering every prayer. I mean, we've gone from relationships where we've carried the load, gone to sleep crying, paid for anything they asked for, and given 150% where they have given only 50%. We have been THROUGH it with the men in our past. Now, we are faced with a new breed of men that open doors, send flowers just because, email notes to say "I'm thinking about you", and are ready to scream their affections from the mountain tops. This breed of men is ready to love you just like God promised in the bible. But are we ready?

Have you been praying and crying so long for something that when it gets to you and you don't see it? Have you been making so many dream boards and books that you forgot what your dreams look like? Have you been so busy hating the things in your past that you have lost hope for the things in the future? Well, if you're afraid to admit it, I certainly am not. I have been guilty of letting the "right" things pass me by because I am so consumed by what I used to experience. It's naturally human to operate in hurt, but that is not what God wants for us. He wants us to believe beyond our current situations to what He has promised.

With God you have to know that He has your best interest at heart. Whether it looks or feels like it in this very moment, He has a greater plan for you. He knows exactly who you are supposed to be with, exactly where you need to live, all the places you should go, and exactly what you should experience. God makes no mistakes. Now, this is BIG for me to say all of this because I question a lot of the things that I and my family have gone through. Still with no clear answers, I know God is greater than the moment I am in now. I cannot stop believing.

I know that the man of my dreams is on the horizon. I have seen glimpses of him recently and I am overjoyed. But instead of rushing into anything, I am in a state of praise and continual prayer. The same way God brought great people in my life, He will do the same in the future. In this season, I am operating in wisdom and understanding. Overall, I am operating in patience. I know that nothing with God comes without prayer. So as I pray and expect things to happen, I am confident that God has everything I need right on the horizon.

Confidently praying for the future,


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Someday may never come.....

I really didn't have much of a "theme" for today, but more of a talking point. I woke up this morning thinking about what I dreamt and all I could remember was the smell of my dad's cologne. In my dream, my dad was telling me that he missed me and that he wanted to share how to continue the business. By the time I woke up, it was all a blur. I just laid in bed and thought about all the moments we once shared and how he constantly wanted to make everything we did a "teaching" moment. It's like everything he taught me I am now in the midst of living out. Everything I've learned is everything I am.

In life, we collect experiences, capture images, and record conversations and they stay in our minds. They eventually shape our beliefs, our understandings, and our opinions. What we do becomes who we are. Everything that we go through is pivotal to who are. I think about all the people I've met, dated, loved, befriended, disliked, had issues with, and learned from, and it seems that I have taken a little bit of each of them with me. Each time I've walked away from a situation, I made sure that it was a "teaching" moment. That is what daddy taught me. It's important that you go through life as a student because eventually you will become a teacher.

This morning I texted a good friend of mine about my dream and he got excited for me. He said my dream was merely a reflection of what an incredible woman my dad raised. I was so touched. It's amazing how someone can see such greatness in you that you are often blind to. The most profound thing he shared was, "someday is another word for never". #message.... It's the truth. If I keep saying that I will "someday" carry on my dad's legacy, then I may never get to doing it. We always hope that "someday" finds its way to us, but many times it doesn't.

I just got off the phone with my mentor of almost 20 years and she was in tears. She told me that she was in Atlanta and wanted to get with me. I asked why she was in town, since she was from Miami, she said that her son-in-law had suddenly passed. He daughter and son-in-law were celebrating their 20th anniversary on Sunday and were preparing to go out on the town. He went to the couch to lay down for a sec while she got dressed. As she was in the shower, she heard him yell out her name. She ignored it the first time, but them heard it again. By the time she came in the living room, she found him face down on the floor. He had died of a massive heart attack on their anniversary. He was only 39 years old. They had been sweethearts. The doctors report said he had an enlarged heart and it decided to explode on that day. This was nothing short of heartbreaking.

I promise this was the saddest story I had heard in a very, very long time. It almost made me more at peace with my dad's story. At least I got 2 weeks to say good bye to him everyday instead of coming home to see him face down on the floor.
In life, you may not get another chance to say I love you, or good morning, or I miss you, you have to say it time you feel it. The next moment is not promised and we don't have forever. Say it right now.

Someday may never come, so relish in the day you have right now.

Hoping that my days make a difference.....


Monday, June 28, 2010

Just Because I Don't Like It, Doesn't Mean I Can't ...

Well, I finally had the chance to take a breather with my family and decided to head to Vegas. My baby sis turned 16 and we wanted to do something different. So for about 3 weeks we played around with the hotel packages and flights until we got a decent rate. Seemed like we were NEVER going to find something that fit our likes and our budget. About 2 weeks before the trip, my mom and middle sis stayed up until 3 am and found the ideal package for us and we were on our way to Vegas baby! We get here, we are ecstatic, we love the atmosphere, we deal with the heat, we get to our hotel room and BAM!......we hate it! lol. Of course the pictures online promised this grandiose layout with great amenities and accommodations, but they weren't any of the sort. But guess what, I said, "I may not like it, but I am grateful." #message

You see in life, we build up these illusions of grandeur of what we want certain things to be whether it be in relationships, a vacation, a job, a car, you name it. We often put a lot of expectation in things then when it doesn't measure up, we are left in disarray. In our minds things should be one way but often fall short. It's funny how the visions in our heads don't materialize in our lives. It shouldn't stop us from dreaming and expecting, but it should instill a better sense of reality and a greater ability to be grateful for what we've been given.

I look around at this room like, "PUKE", but then I remember what it took to get here. The sacrifice, the things we've been through this year, the late nights doing research about vacation packages, all of that. The fact that so many people want to be in this very position, whether it's the "perfect" room or not. The fact that we made it is a miracle all in it's self.

That's the way life is though. We create these images in our heads of what marriage and/or relationship should be and they end up being far from that. That may not be a bad thing though. What works for one couple, may not work for you. Allow God to mold your "perfect" situation and stop trying to throw your own spin on it. Even when it comes to your mate. There are definitely some specifics that you want him/her to have, but don't find your self nit picking your potential other to the point where you talk yourself out of what God has for you. I know I am guilty of it, even as we speak. Whether it be a physical flaw, one character trait, something in their past, or one thing that they may have said. Learn to look at the bigger picture.

One person's jagged edges can fit perfectly into your puzzle pieces. Their imperfections can magnify your perfections. The areas where you are most weak, they can be strong in.They can be that person that can make you appreciate what you do have instead of the few things that you may lack.

I think the place I am in now is a pretty decent one. Yes, I miss my dad, but I am grateful to have had one to instill such greatness in me. Yes, I wish I was still working with youth day to day, but I am grateful to have gifts and talents to sustain me during this season. Yes, I wish this room was greater, but I am glad to be in an ideal place on the strip to experience Vegas at it's best. We all have to come to a point where we find the greatness in every gray area in our lives. Eventually, those areas will seem brighter as well.

It's all about perspective.

Looking ahead and not behind with a spirit of gratefulness.......


Saturday, June 26, 2010

Battle of the Ex's: We're Not Close Anymore... Are We?

You see I have been on this relationship kick lately. lol. Clearly this has been the topic of discussion for me and many of my girl and guy friends.

Ok, this whole "ex" thing is driving me crazy. With the circle of friends that I am in and was in college, a lot of ex boyfriends and girlfriends have been thrown back into the pool of availability. I have recently, accidentally dipped into this pool. Totally oblivious to the "lineage" of the current boo and a chick I was once cool with in school.

WHO CARES?????? lol. I mean, are we REALLY obligated to never "talk" to each other's ex's when we haven't spoken in literally 5+ years? No right? I didn't think so. With all the use of twitter and facebook, people are acquainted that probably would not otherwise meet or speak. With that being said, people meet people that have no idea know people that are from someone's past.

This has literally happened to me twice. Like, recently. So I am now faced with having to not speak to some chick in my past. Not that we've spoken in the past 5 years, but still, in hopes of not seeming like a low-life, sneaky person, I have to have the uncomfortable conversation of, "Hey, I'm with your ex now, hope it's cool. Even it's not, I'm still kicking it with him. And yes, it's getting serious." I mean, do I owe them that? We were once cool, but haven't spoke in YEARS. Even with all these methods of staying in touch, we chose not to.

I guess I am posing this question (rhetorically) because it is happening to so many people I know (and me We are able to portray parts of us online that may not have otherwise been noticeable in school or in passing. So now we have the opportunity to connect with people miles & miles away. I guess that's when technology becomes a blessing and a curse huh?

If you just so happen to fall for an ex of a former friend, do what you feel in your heart. Prayerfully it will work itself out. Well, the thing about it is, if God has it ordained for you to be with a certain person, it really doesn't matter how it happens or who it is. He has someone set aside for you. God does not operate in confusion, so all it requires is prayer and an adult conversation. There is never any need to stoop to the level of a person who is not able to handle things maturely.

Besides... all things are fair in love & war...

May the best woman end up with the best man......


Friday, June 25, 2010

Don't Let Your Ex Mess Up Your Next

Mmmmm mmmmm...mmmmm... I'm shaking my head right now because I am in a heavy BlackBerry messenger conversation with my big (spiritual) sis. In true fashion of the enemy, I start the day off really excited and optimistic about life and then I get a text from her, "girl, have you seen the video?" I knew in my spirit it was my ex getting engaged. I just KNEW it. She was like, "yep... you want to see it?" I bit the bullet, told her to send the link and I watched it. *pulse racing.... eyes bulging* I watch it, then I'm good. Didn't feel the way I thought. I knew it was coming, just a matter of when.

Rewind about 10 years ago when I first met him where I just knew he would be the one. We dated officially a little more than a year and spent the rest dating others, but "loving" one another. In a true unhealthy fashion of course. We would still be with other people but always found a home in one another. Such a mess. I know. Nothing worst that carrying a torch for a love that has no desire to be lit. Whatever. Long story short, I watch a video today of him proposing to someone else. I had a complete out of body experience I swear I did. It was like I was watching a complete stranger. Like God had removed the intense emotions that I intended to exert. I showed the video to my BFF, mom, and lil sis, everyone was like, "are you ok?" YUP! I'm good. Lol..

My big sis was like, "girl we will pray for him". *record scraaaaaaaaaaaatch" No ma'am, I'm not praying for him. lol. In true big sis fashion, she urged me to be bigger than my emotions, bigger than the years I had thrown in the ring, bigger than the memories, the pain and hurt. Honey, that is a TALL order. Then she said, "don't let your ex mess up your next". #message! There it is. I had to get over that hump (again) and see that God was merely preparing me. (Yet again...)
God wants us to be big enough to let go of the past so we can grab hold on to the newness of the future. How can you carry something if both of your hands are full? How can your heart begin to cultivate new love if you insist on holding on to the old hurt and pain of a past love. The best way for a plant to grow is to cut it. About a month ago, our landscaper cut down 3 of our gorgeous hedges in front of the house. They weren't as green as they could be, but I thought they were fine. I came outside to give the (old) man some water and he was like, "yeah, had to cut your hedges there down." I was like, "Um, I didn't ask you to do that, why did you cut them down so low, they look like pom poms." He said, "oh don't worry about it, it was time. They will be back greener, stronger, and taller." You know I was rolling all types of eyes at him. lol. I was like yeah RIGHT! But honey, I'm a believer. Not only were they back in no time, they were even more beautiful than before.

The message here for you today is: IT'S TIME. It's time to let go and see what the future holds. Like the hedges, the love God has promised you will be greater than before. The love that has been set aside for you will be exactly what you need and desire. The love that you will experience will completely overshadow the past hurts and pains you had. You have to be willing to walk away from it all and start brand new.

As much as it makes me sick to write this, I have to pray that God blesses him in the future. Pray for my strength and transformation. As motivational and spiritual as I can be, THIS has derailed me time and time again. This one thing. I have to let it go and give it up. There is NO other way for me to be blessed. The reason I will get an immediate return on this particular prayer is because God knows the level of humility I had to exhibit. Now the Melissa that everyone knew waaaaaaaaay back when (last would be less than sweet and go completely off, BUT since I'm expecting a major breakthrough, I can't afford anymore set backs. I just can't afford to do it. Not at this stage in the game.

So, in efforts to prepare for my next (who I know is reading this), I'm not allowing the past to overshadow my future. I know that the one that is promised for me will far exceed my expectations, but more than anything, be exactly what I need. I can't wait to tell you all the good news. Believe me... it wont be long

Moving from the ex to the next....

*cue "On To The Next" by Jay-Z..... lol

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Why Can't One Be Enough

The beautiful thing about marriage is the joy of taking a journey with ONE person that means the world to you. You've waited all your life this person, they are your everything, and you have found a home in them. Right? Well, that is what it was supposed to be, but it seems as though some people are not content with the "good thing" they have been given.

I met a nice guy out a few weeks back. We laughed, kicked it, had a blast. You know I checked that left hand to see a ring, there wasn't one. I was like, "heeeeeeeeeeeey boo..." lol. We stayed at the sports bar until the wee hours of the morning. Talked about everything from politics, religion, money, sports, and marriage. -pause- Marriage. Something in my spirit told me he was married, so I kept insisting that he tell me the truth, and YES, he was. I just about threw up on him. I was like, "if you're married, WHY are you out at a sports bar at 2 am kicking it with a table full of single ladies." He merely says, "Me and my wife have an understanding". Whhhhhhhhhhhhat? An understanding? When was that ever ok? He went on to say that they had an open marriage and that she was "cool" with him doing his thing because she did his. When did they get to the point where seeing other people was ok? When did he/she not become enough?

Those questions sadden me? As a woman dating with purpose, I know that eventually I will be married to my better half and it's scary to think a marriage could evolve to that. At what point does the conversation get stale? When does the fire go out? When does the laughter stop? When does the fun just dissipate? When does the desire dwindle? I mean, really? How is it okay for you to be in the process of asking someone to marry you and you lay on the phone for hours with your first love? I just don't quite comprehend why one would feel comfortable with still carrying a torch for one, while lighting the torch for another.

I guess I could ask 1,000 open ended questions all day and we would end up with a book written. When I took these concerns to my mom and some other married folk, the only response was, "work on you". BAM! #message! lol. That's it. Who cares what is ok in other marriages. You need only be concerned with one, your own. Look at the blueprint for being a wife (and seeking the right one) in the Word. The kind of wife I read about in Proverbs 31 is NOT an easy assignment, but a necessary one. The love that is boasted about in the bible is one that is all inclusive. Don't get me wrong, it's not supposed to be perfect, but purposed filled. Tailored to fit the needs of an individual. That's all I can look to, what MINE is supposed to be like with hopes to be a reflection to others that may need a better representation.

Don't marry for convenience, marry for purpose. Marry for love. Not for the moment. Marry because you can see yourself carrying out your destiny with your mate. Not for what may look good in wedding photos. Marry because you can see your children modeling their marriage after yours. Not because you think it's "time" or "because it's been forever". Don't feel pressured by society, by life, by age, or by circumstances. I have talked to so many younger married couples and they have literally begged and pleaded for me not to rush into marriage. I'm like, "I thought this was the ultimate goal?" And believe me, it is, but you have to make sure it is right.

I could go all day on this topic, you see it's heavy on my mind, but I won't. I have to be concerned with the assignments that I have been given and do the things that I have been called to do. In the meantime, he will be doing the same and then, we will meet somewhere in the middle. I know then, that we will be more than enough for one another. I'm sure of it.

More than enough, and then some.....


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I've been Hit, But Not Leaving the Ring

I've been knocked down so many times this year, but I refuse to leave the ring. Leave a job where I was content- POW! At war with inner self- BAM! My love life becomes so tumultuous I should be on a lifetime movie or a Tyler Perry play- POW! Dad Dies......-flat line-... KABOOM! There are other things that only God knows about, but man, this has been a heck of a year. I just refuse to throw in the towel, l refuse to leave the ring. And for that, I am a champion, whether I win every battle or not.

I sat in the bed this morning with tears in my eyes, wondering why God continues to allow me to endure such hardships and trials and why it seemed like there was always a battle. I was like God, "when will the playing field be level? when will the struggle be over? When God?" And I could literally feel God smiling. Like he was saying, "If only you could see what I see in your future. If only you could see what the end is going to be." Every experience that I've triumphed over, I have become stronger. I have become a different person, better than before.

When I was little, I used to try to imagine what it would be like to lose a parent and I would immediately think I would just crumble, that I wouldn't survive it. But you know what, my daddy left such a legacy in me, that I can't cry out of sadness, just out of missing one of my best friends. I know that what he has instilled in me is so great, that even my children will shine with his same light.

You see, when you are built for battle and equipped for victory, nothing or no one can get in the way. Not even yourself. Even when I get in the way of who I'm supposed to be, God quickly does some rearranging. I sit back like, "how did I get here? where do I go from here? God what are you saying." And within moments, I am made whole. It's amazing.

Even with tears in my eyes right now, I am overjoyed at things to come. I woke up this morning with such a spirit of expectancy, even with all that I have experienced over these past few weeks and there was a knock at the door. Fed Ex delivered a package from a new friend. In this package was the most beautiful painting I have seen. He wanted to send a thank you for merely being a blessing to his life. All I could do was look up to the heavens and give God a high 5.

When you allow yourself to see yourself already out of a situation, you will gradually transition from the one that you are in. Plllllllllllllllease believe me that is easier said than done. I am definitely a witness to that. This year has literally been a blurr. I go to sleep in prayer and wake up in it. Praying for a breakthrough and hoping for something different. The truth is, if you stay in a state of constant expectation, you will see that your prayers are being answered in small ways daily. You need only hold on to what God has told you.

As I stay in this "ring" called life and fight this good fight, I know that I am already victorious regardless of what the score is looking like. I am merely in awe of what God is doing with my life. And this is only the beginning.

Staying in the ring and expecting more.....


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Trust Me, He's a Better Man With Me

Sometimes we have to acknowledge that our ex's are different and maybe even be better with someone else. This is a sensitive subject for a lot of women, me included. Recently, my coward of an ex sent me the text, "I'm Engaged". And my whole world froze........ PAUSE.........

Why? Why would I care? Why would I hesitate? Why would I have an immediate attitude? Because I prepared him to be the man he is today? Or because I gave him a better part of my young adult heart? Or that she now has a better version of who he was? Yes, all of the above. But most imporantly, I didn't really want him like that anymore. I prayed and cried about that man so many times that God's phone went on mute as soon as He heard me utter his name. lol.

The sad thing is that we don't know how to let go and acknowledge that sometimes we are better with someone else. For instance, a man I met recently immediately saw the greatness in me and was asking my ring size, but he was recently in a long term relationship where he was contstantly arguing and not getting any closer to his purpose in life. Or in other relationships where one person drinks and the other is a little more of a casual drinker. The other person acts as a barometer for the one that is a party animal. They merely help mello them out. That same party animal can find a fellow party animal and operate in a chaotic relationship that is so far from what God wants from them. Sometimes different is a good thing.

You see, I know I am a stronger woman for this next man and I know how I need to be loved. My ex obviously didnt have the desire to do that. Notice I said desire, not ability. We each have the ability to be who we need to be for who we need to be it for. It's all about desire. When you want someone or something bad enough, you will do what needs to be done to make it work.

As I get closer to being with "him", I know what I want, what I need, and what I need to do. It's funny how I think about the woman I was with each of the men in my past and it's amazing how I've evoloved each time. In some of my memories, I don't even recognize myself. I was so far from purpose that I looked crazy... lol.. Thank God for mercy and grace. Surely they have followed me all the days of my life.

So, in preparing for a future with someone, let go who you once were and who you once were with. They were built to make someone better just as you were built to make someone else better. In life, it's all about growth. Become better and expect better. Believe me, it makes all the difference.

Moving farther from memories of him, closer to visions of me.....


Monday, June 21, 2010

When A Man is Ready....

Lately I've been running into some really great catches. Men with great careers, great level of intellect, 401ks & savings, sharp dress codes, handsome faces, and a love for God that is undeniable. They all keep asking me, where are all the good women? That's baffling to me. All reports say that it's a 20:1 ratio for women to men (that may be a little exaggerated, forgive me). That can't be possible right? Maybe not.

When a man knows what he wants, he just knows. He's not willing to compromise, budge, or take anything less. The crazy thing is, they spend a substantial amount of time with one woman and after a while decide that she simply is "not the one". But they can turn around and meet a random woman and fall in love instantly. It's like they just know.

In the past few months I've made it my personal quest to pick the minds of great men. What they want, what they need, what their futures look like to them. All of them say the same thing, "they want the right woman at their side." Most of my guy friends may or may not come from a home with a father in it, but they ALL have come from a home with a mother in it. They have witnessed what a real woman should look like and they know what she should encompass. While they are not looking for a carbon copy of their mother, they all want their woman to have many of her same qualities.

As many women who are itching to be married, not all of them are taking the time to adequately prepare to become one. It's like they are so consumed with the ring, the ceremony, and the title, they neglect all the foundational elements. All of my girlfriends can cook, clean, iron, pray like elders in the church, know how to "put it down" behind closed doors, and know how to submit biblically. Then I meet other women and strike up casual conversations about life and the future. These other women rarely cook, go to church to just meet men, and drink like fish. They always end up saying, "Girl, I met a really nice guy, he's trying to wife me, but I am not going to slow down to fit his lame standards." Huh? Isn't that crazy?

It's funny, when a man is ready to settle down, it's a WRAP! Their whole lives begin to revolve around finding the right woman and doing it like they do in those old black and white movies. Sad thing is, they end up falling for women who on the surface want to be a wife, but internally want to be the quintessential single girl with a diamond ring. That just isn't going to work.

A man that is ready is READY! He's willing to go the extra mile. He's willing to do things that he ordinarily wouldn't do when he was casually dating. He wants everything he does in dating to prepare him for marriage. He tailors his whole lifestyle to reflect that of a man that is preparing for a family and a lifelong union.

As women, we must begin to act as though this man is on his way. Whether we are dating someone seriously or not, we need to behave as someone's "good thing". We can pray until our knees bleed, but if we do not begin to walk into the steps of a virtuous woman, we cannot be mad if this man has not found us. Trust me, there is a breed of men out there that know what they want and it might just be in you. If you are busy doing what God has asked of you, your man might just be in the wings watching you.

Every move you make today should be towards the woman that you aspire to be.

Walking upright in virtuous steps.....

- Mel

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Tribute to Big Poppa

(I can't really write this post without falling out on the ground, so bear with me. )

I wanted to take a moment to say I miss my daddy. Not for all the reasons that people may think. Well, maybe so. Yes I miss him being my prayer partner, my Dave Chappel/ Paul Mooney partner, my Tiny & Toya watcher, my late night riding homie, my fried fish confidant, my voice of reason, my laughing partner, my smoothie partner, my tennis/basketball/gym/walk around the neighborhood partner, my man of God. I think what I miss the most is his spirit to press forward. His spirit of holding on. His spirit to see the good in people. His ability to see straight through to the heart of a man.

I miss that so much as I get closer to becoming someone's wife. Someone's virtuous woman. Someone's "good thang". Someone's mother. As I become all that God has destined me to be. I just wish he could of seen where I am. Even in the past 4 months, I have become someone totally different. Nowhere near the same. The strength that I possess, I don't even know where it came from (well, I know it's from God). The ability I have now to see things that are to come, I wish I could talk to him about. I just wish I could say 2 or 3 more things to him. Ask him a few more questions. Have like one more deep conversation and walk away with a wealth of knowledge.

I will never understand God's timing, His reasoning, His way of thinking, I can only ask for a way to press forward. I pray that I someday am thought of as much as daddy is.

I look back over the 27 years I had with him and I can do nothing but cry. Tears of laughter, memories, prayers, and breakthroughs. I have had some great times with dad. He confided in me like I was one of his homies. To never have him again feels like I've lost an organ. I miss him more than words can ever encompass. I pray that God heals this pain and allows me to still be a blessing to others.

It's crazy, as soon as dad passed, I received a tsunami of proposals and interest from men that I have never imagined. I pray daily for dad to send some sort of sign that he has approved the man I decide to settle down with. I think that's the biggest thing right now. Not ever having him walk me down the aisle or helping me write my vows. Goodness, I just have to pray now for the strength.

Through my veil of tears, I see daddy smiling and saying, "I'm proud of you baby girl, go out there and kill 'em".

And that's the plan... to do it just like he was standing right behind me cheering me on, instead he's above.

Pray for me y'all. Today is going to be rough. ( Yup, my face is covered in tears)

-Mitch's Girl

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Just Go With It (Part 2)

Yeah, I've been ghost, so you know I have A LOT to say.... So recently I 've been in one of those "gray area" type of relationships where you're more than friends, but less than together. Its been great, but difficult because there is so much left out in the open, so many things that you really have no right to question, and areas that I don't particularly want to be open about. But, let me tell you the power of putting it ALL on the table.

Recently I was at my little sister's high school event and there were a few fraternity (that shall remain members there that were cool. Of course the one that wants to be a pastor found his way to me and asked me out. I'm like, "Um, I'm kinda sorta seeing someone, sorry." He was like, "Is that your man? Are you all exclusive? Is he the one?" I really didn't even know how to answer that. I was like, you're right, dinner won't hurt. So we went out, he was cool, no big deal. On the ride home, I HAD to call the boo. I just could not act like it was all good and not tell him. Man, I called him to tell him everything and he was real cool about it. He was like, "Babe, I know you're loyal, it's cool. Do your thing." He even revealed his mindset on our whole situation.

You see, the moment I decided to "just go with it", things just even themselves out. Facing the music wasn't as bad as it seemed. I actually felt more liberated by the truth than by hiding it and running from the inevitable. Many times we allow the enemy to place things in our minds to distract us, to cast doubt, and to create internal confusion. It is all by design. The less stable we are, the less effective we are. It can start as something as small as second guessing yourself to doubting who you are to completely not knowing how to make the right decisions all together.

Don't let small things fester in your mind and take your eyes off set forth course....

Figuring out this course & staying on it....


Just Go With It (Part 1)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm back on that "ghost mode" again, but let me tell you, LIFE HAS BEEN CRAZY!!! Last time we talked, my dad had just passed and my life was in a full tornado. I can't even begin to explain the myriad of emotions I've been battling daily. It's been so overwhelming.

I have come to tell you that God is STILL in the blessing business, despite what things make look like around. It is not easy to get back up and dust yourself off, but there is great reward in doing so. I don't even know where to begin. Well, right before dad died, he transferred his favor & anointing on me in a double portion. I didn't understand its purpose until now. My life as of now has been a direct reflection of God's favor and all that daddy possessed when he was here.

Recently, a good girlfriend of mine called to ask me if I was taking any PR/Marketing clients. I was like, "Yeah, I guess, I really need something in my life right now." So, from that very moment, my life has been in fast forward. I was thinking this was some random person who needed a little help with a campaign, but turns out it was the TOP revenue generator for Ardyss International (The Body Magic producers). She just so happened to be one of the premiere platinum presidents that is running it! From that one phone call, I accepted the contract and immediately began traveling around the country. She asked me what I was making with my old job and said, " Honey I can match that any day and I am going to make you a very rich woman." I immediately began crying out to the Lord. It's amazing how God can elevate you when you merely elevate your level of thinking and expectation. Wait, it gets better. Not only was she willing to match my salary, but she asked if I had time for TWO more clients that are willing to pay the same. GO JESUS!!!!! Honey, you know they had to carry me out of this lady's office... lol.

I ended up meeting with the second client and discussed what he needed done. I went back to my room, prayed on it, and then within 30 minutes, I had completely revamped his program. I emailed it to him and he hit the FAN! He said I was the missing link that God sent to him. I was able to assemble a marketing design team here in Atlanta and bring his entire campaign to life in the matter of 3-4 days. Not only that, the campaign has already had 2,000 people sign up for it and his revenue has almost tripled. Man, this is amazing.

I say all of this to say that God is MORE than able to do all you can ever ask or think. But you have to ASK the right things while you THINK the right things. You have to believe that there is a way out. You have to understand that God is more than able. You have to understand that if God did it once, He is well equipped to handle it this time.

One of my (new) favorite scriptures has been revealed to me recently, it says in Psalms 84:11, that "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." The only part of this equation that is required of you is that you walk upright. Meaning keep living in God's will, do what is asked of you, and the rest shall be given unto you. It's all a matter of time.

Keep holding on and believing. God can do it. I'm a living witness! In spite of all I've been through, I've kept pressing and it has made all the difference.

I'm humbled ....