Look for the bad.... to love the good

Now this may seem like a pessimistic way viewing love, but it's probably the best way. You know the saying that a leopard can't grow new spots? (well, its something like that) That's pretty much how we are as people. Most of the negative attributes and experiences that we possess are ours for the keeping. Our upbringing, our ideologies, our path, our purpose, our neurotic behaviors, all of that. They won't change. Like growing up a certain way, a lifelong visibly flaw, a character glitch, its part of our fabric. That's the thing with relationships. We bring all of these things to the table as counterparts in a relationship. We identify and embrace those things that we may not be familiar with in order to love unconditionally.

When we meet someone and get to know who they really are, the bad always jumps out. Whether they grew up in a home that wasn't perfect (not that this is totally bad), or they have a speech impediment, or they have certain biases. Whatever the case may be, their "bad" traits are things you need to identify early. I can remember my relationships in the past and during the "get to know you" part, I soaked up all the things my mate told me. The good, the bad, and the otherwise. When I feel in love (with my now ex), there things that I couldn't relate to or understand, but I was intrigued to find out more. When I took the limits off, love flourished like no other. Now, on the other hand, there were guys that had issues that I simply couldn't overlook like chronic drinking and smoking, terrible cursing habits, and no real relationship with God. There are just somethings that I can't compromise. When you meet someone, you can't go into it with the intentions of trying to change them, you have to learn to love them as a whole.

As we identify these things in a person that we don't necessarily like, we need to ask ourselves, "Can I live with this?". If we can honestly say that we can deal with the "bad" we probably may be on our way to finding true love. And if not love, it will truly make us a better person. Loving flaws and all......

~Fly Love