Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Do I keep dating the same guy?

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”- Bejamin Franklin

Now, I did the craziest thing today! I did a matrix of alllllllll the guys I've dated. I grabbed pictures from myspace, facebook, some old scrapbooks, picture mail, all of that. And I started looking at all these characters. I was like, "Wait, do I keep dating the same guy?"... lol... They all had great smiles, loved God, winning personalities, dressed well, all of that. But guess what? I am not with any of them anymore :O(

Is it just me or have you found that sometimes you’re attracted to the same kind of guy, and they even have behaviors similar to your ex? Then you have the nerve to get mad that they end up acted just like the last fool you dated! Wait, it gets better, YOU BLAME THEM. The same saga continues, same script, different cast!

What happened? I experienced many of the same issues after my different relationships became settled. So I'm thinking maybe it's not them, maybe it was something that I was doing. Maybe what my "ideal man" looks like is not the one that God wants for me. Or maybe God is keeping me for some purpose. These are the thoughts that run through my head when I meet different guys and actually entertain dating them. "Lord is this it, is he the one?" I have to stop myself from doing that because every person you meet is not meant for you to marry.

I have been so perplexed by why all my ex beaus reminded me so much of one another that I had to do a little research. In one article, it says that when we date similar people, it concisely illustrates how we make choices. We have to learn from our experiences, take responsibility for our choices, and ultimately make different ones. This not only goes for dating, but across the board in life.

I think it's ok to be drawn to certain characteristics in a man that seem familiar to us, but we have to recognize dysfunction when it approaches! It has to happen in the beginning. Of course you can't possibly know allllllll the ins and out of a person upon first meeting them, but you have to become at discerning. You have to look at the bigger picture. Can this person be a part of my destiny? Does he complete me? Can I see myself loving him when his hair turns gray, the muscles turn to flab, and if the checks stop coming in? Those questions may seem a little far fetched, but you have to always think with the END in mind.

In knowing that, I realize that every guy I've had dealings with were all a part of the journey. I've learned so much about loving a man, being a better woman, defining & embracing my worth, and how to prepare for my ultimate destination, my HUSBAND!

So in this dating game, be conscious, be aware, and be wise. You never know what God may be doing. Stay prayed up and prepared! You might just get what you pray for~!

~ Fly Dater

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