Saturday, January 10, 2009

Definition of a Boo

What exactly is a boo? This question is asked all the time. Many times we find ourselves with someone we deem cool enough to be with without "being" with them. With this I mean, you want all the benefits of a relationship without the so called headache. Supposedly! Is a relationship really that much of a headache? The whole no title to me seems to make things more stressful and leaves soooooo much gray area. Especially when you call yourself trying to move forward and find that special one. Now, there are some instances where the person you are seeing is merely a "pit stop" to your final destination, True love. But guess what, you might be giving all the pseudo loving to a person who doesn't deserve it or know what to do with it.

Here are some quotes I found answering the question, "What is a boo?":

"It means that he is not buying the cow, when he is getting the milk for free,
same with the girlfriend, it takes two to tango".

"It means you aren't really boyfriend and girlfriend .... There is no such
thing as part time, either you are or either you aren't, it can't be "part
time". . ."

"It means no commitment and those kind of people are shallow. They are also
known as users or disposable people. Just like disposable lighters, when the
flame is gone, you toss the used up lighter in the trash and get another."

"Sounds like a silly term created by someone who doesn't want to

That means he doesn't want the title of your boyfriend but enjoys being
"like a boyfriend". Kinda like "playing house". No real commitment but it's fun
"to act"

Dating as whole can be complicated in itself, but no titles or terms to the relationship only makes it worst. You really have to be clear when YOU set out dating. You should ask yourself, "Am I looking for a fling? Am I looking for a casual date? Or am I looking for a serious relationship?" Sometimes you may not know what you want, but without proper definition & defined intentions, the relationship will end up turning for the worst. 9 times out 10, you really want a genuine, functional relationship. But with the recession we are experiencing in the dating world, you end up in a place where you never thought you would be, alone, but in a relationship. This is one of the scariest places in the world.

You would think a relationship with no boundaries or parameters would be liberating, but it's not. It's actually more dangerous. It leaves immeasurable room for insecurities, pain, misunderstandings, lies, jealously, miscommunication, you name it! Now, it's different when you are with some one just to have a steady date for the movies, or a date for your family reunion and office Christmas party, or even just a late night jump-off situation (which I HIGHLY discourage! ). You may both think its ok to see other people, but you better establish that in the beginning. Even if you do that, the more you are with this person, the more attached you will become. The thought of them being with another person would truly tick you off. But guess what? You can't get upset, because you're not allowed to. You established the non-exclusiveness of your relationship early on, so there you are, left in the dark. This is an awful feeling, but you set yourself up for it by not placing an official title on your "situation".

The fact of the matter is you need to know what you're getting into and what the purpose of it is. Now, granted you don't get all deep from the moment you meet a person, but at some point, you need to set the record straight. No room for gray area or heartache. You can't expect commitment when the other person is merely looking for a bed warmer. If it's casual, then makes sure it stays that way. But when you start straddling the fence and start feeling overly attached, you need to put all your cards on the table and establish some sort of commitment. If not, you will have 2 confused folks walking around. Trust me, the world doesn't need anymore of those! lol..

~2 Fly 2 B Just A Boo!

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