Monday, October 18, 2010

The moment I let go....

Monday already? Seems like it was JUST Monday... lol.. Last week went by so fast that I don't even remember it all. God moved last week on my behalf like never before. I was just about ready to throw in the towel for the 1 millionth time, but I had to keep remembering God provides us each with "our daily bread", so I had to keep pressing my way. I started this post off with a different topic in mind, but God seemed to have steered me in another direction. I want to talk a little bit about "letting go".

Well, I was a little quiet last week because God was operating swiftly on my behalf. Let me rewind to last Tuesday. As many of you all know, I am the master networker and I never meet a stranger. I am always invited out to events and private parties, but I rarely go. But this night, something in me told me I needed to pull it together and get out of the house. The first event I went to ended up starting about an hour late. I initially wanted to have an attitude, but God wouldn't let me. I ended up sitting with two wonderful people. I started talking to this lady about my life and she began to open up about hers. She revealed that she had a life full of abuse, hurt, confusion, and despair. She said she saw the movie "Precious" and said that it was a fairy tale in comparison to what she experienced growing up. She had been through numerous relationships, heart aches, and disappointments. It wasn't until 10-10-10 that she finally decided to let it all go. She said she woke up one morning, went to a church and decided to totally rededicate her life. She said she was baptized and cleansed herself of all the things she battled with for almost 50 years. She said, "I just decided to let it all go".

Wow. No matter how many times I hear the phrase, "let it go", it never ceases to amaze me how much power it truly possesses. This lady had endured a lifetime of pain and abuse but found the strength somewhere in her to simply let God have it. She said she's always had a relationship with God but she was seeking something different. All that she had experienced up until that very moment was holding her back from that next level. She said that meeting me that day further confirmed that she was on the right path. She is now going before several agencies to shop her life story and other original writings to be turned into movies. Because she found the strength to let go, God has unleashed the next level on her that she has never seen. And her journey has yet begun.

Funny thing is, the event that I was originally scheduled to attend that evening ended up being pushed back to a later time and I left before it even got started. I know that I was supposed to have that conversation with her. I was supposed to be a part of her journey and she was supposed to be a part of mine. It was in that very moment that I further understood the ideal of ordered footsteps. When you truly trust God every step of the way, you trust Him enough to know that even the moments that seem "off course", are still ordained.

The whole drive home, my mind was racing. What's holding me back? What's keeping me from that next level behind the veil? What must I do? I just have to let go. Even more than I already have. I have to be willing to give it all to Him. I have to trust that the outcome will be in my favor. Even when it looks like isn't.

I left that one event to meet my friends at this second event. I went to the venue and I was kinda unimpressed. I love the "black Hollywood" concept, but some events just don't do it for me. I ended up running into one of my sorors/friends. When I tell you I KNOW God had me to speak with her. I parked rather far from the venue so she drove me back to my truck and we ended up sitting in the car for an hour talking about letting go of past pain, embracing change, understanding your purpose, and truly learning how people operate. We discussed a few misunderstandings from earlier this year. I was pissed about somethings that were trivial, but I had just never verbalized any of it. I just kind of withdrew. We then talked about how the loss of our loved ones changed our lives forever and how God kept us sane, and how much we were alike. It was one of the best conversations I've had in a very long time. She then realized that she needed my help with a lot non-profit projects and of course I gladly accepted. All because I chose to let go of what the past had held.

And that's not all. Yes, there is more. Last week I saw God move like never before. Right now I am literally living day to day trusting God for the right career move and the right position. Well, let me tell you how God works in the most mysterious ways. About 3 weeks ago, a good friend (and former co-worker) called me about applying for this position. I was like, "Girl, that doesn't pay what I want, I need something different". I honestly hadn't even remembered sending my resume package to the organization, but apparently I did because I was one of the first people they called for an interview last week . But wait, not for just one, but two positions. In addition to that position, another girl friend of mine linked me up with another opportunity to make some additional income. This was literally ALL IN ONE DAY. I kid you not. All on last Tuesday. I was so blown away that I could do nothing but lift my hands.

I could hear God say, "All you had to do was let go. Let go what you thought was supposed to be of your life and let me do it. " I am literally sitting here in tears. I have been crying before the Lord all year about what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, what I thought I should be, and He has simply reminded me that He is in control. Not one bill unpaid. Not one meal missed. Not one trip missed. Still fly. Still managing to smile. Still able to be a blessing to so many others. Even in the midst of my valley experience, God has used me. So this whole time I've been holding on to His hand, He has been working on something on my behalf.

The art of letting go is not the easiest to do, but the most rewarding. It's a 2-part process. You have to let go of the things that hurt you and/or made you upset. Forgive and move forward. You also have to let go of what you think the "perfect" plan is. Life is subject to change and we have to be able to flow with it. I think the most important thing to understand is that your life is your life and your journey is unique to your purpose. You have to trust and know that it will all come together. When you look back on it all, it will make better sense. Just keep living day to day and watch God work it out.

Letting go to see what God has in store....


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