Saturday, August 21, 2010

You're Only Human....

Lately I've been bumping the song 'I'm only human' by Zo and it truly touches my soul. It talks of a relationship that is not perfect, filled with ups an downs, but they love each other in spite of. That song really speaks to me. It makes me realize that no matter how great my relationship is, its never going to be perfect. I kind of okay with that.

Just this past weekend I went to visit my "guy" and his family and I had such a wonderful time. Seeing someone in their natural element is truly insightful. You get to see who they really, really are. I had a chance to spend time with his mom, who has such a genuine heart towards God. Of course she told me about him, but the one thing that stood out was her saying 'He's not perfect, but he's great'. That stuck with me. He's willing and ready for God to use him. That's just what I need. When someone is 'perfect' it means there is no work left to be done right? There's no error, no room for growth, no variation. Just perfect. Who wants that? Lol.

In relationships we have to strive towards excellence and completion, not necessarily perfection. The reason God brings certain people in our lives is to simply help us become better. I think about the men that have come in my life and what I've taken away from each relationship, good and bad, and I can see what God was (and still is) doing. In my relationship now, its easy, no pressure. I let him have his space when he needs it and I push him when necessary. He does the same for me. Never overdoing anything or trying too hard. I guess because we possess the same goal of being "happy", we are done with forcing things. Coming from the relationships we've come from, it feels good to just be who we are. And that is just perfect for us.

When your goal is to be closer to God, all other things fall in line. You have to make a conscious decision to love someone in spite of. Whether they text you back immediately or always take your call. Whether they remember every little detail or know exactly what to say. You have to love a person for their soul and whole they truly are, flaws and all.

I aspire to experience the kind of love that is in constant pursuit of euphoria. When I say euphoria, I mean a place that is filled with balance, happiness, understanding and a sense of completion. A love that shatters common definitions of love. One that is tailor made for he and I. That's all I am concerned about. What works for us. That's the thing when you are 'human', you can be just who you are. God will send you someone that 'gets you' and understands your purpose.

In the past I have been guilty of being jealous, petty, easily angered, all that not so good stuff. I'm over that. I refuse to allow the enemy to rob me of what God has blessed me and who He has brought into my life. I am not going to let the past dictate my future and occupy my present. That's operating in confusion and honey, who has time or energy for that? lol

So in efforts to celebrate my ability to be human, I am not going to hold back. I'm going to live life to the fullest and give my all every chance I get. In the process, I might just fall madly in love. If not, at least I can say I tried my best. With him, I'm not going to stress it, push too hard, or make him move any faster. I will love him with an Agape love and perhaps it will transform into that good ol' Eros loving. Until then, I will keep being human.

Humanly loving all that I've been given,


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