Monday, August 23, 2010

Something New

Lately I have been quite introspective. Thinking. Waiting. Wanting. Listening. In a rather still place. Trying to hear from God. Trying to have an encounter with Him. Wanting something new.

You can be in God and in 'church' all your life but still feel a little off course. You can be following His commandments, memorizing every scripture, and knowing every hymn, but still feel a little unfulfilled. Kind of like a glass ceiling in the work place but spiritually. You can see the top clearly, but something seems to be holding you back. My spiritual eye is still keen, but I want to hear Him speak directly. My soul seeks a deeper encounter with Him.

In order to get that moment with Him, I have to intensify my worship, praise,prayer,and giving. I need to send an SOS message to get His total attention. He hears me and sees me but I just want a distinct answer from Him. I won't rest until I do. I wont' be made whole until I know that God is right there with me. I am certainly not lost, I just want more.

My guy and I were talking recently and he talked of just wanting to hear from God. Funny thing is, I'm in the same place. Just yearning for a deeper level. I've been saved for many, many years, but I'm ready for something more. A promotion spiritually. I know there is more to come, just have to push towards it!

In my quest to find a deeper level, I have to do more. That's the bottom line. I can't keep doing the same thing thinking it will warrant new things. I must do something to utilize my gifts, I need to spend more time in the word, I need to work harder towards my purpose, and I need to touch more lives. The moment I turn the intensity up in my works, He will not deny me. I'm ready for the next level like never before and I won't stop until I get it.

I guess this entry is one of those where it is really an open letter. I KNOW I'm not the only one. lol. We all have those moments where we are like, "Ok God, what's next, what do I need to do to get closer to you?" I think it's all a part of the process of becoming greater. When you have a yearning for something, you run faster towards it , you dig deeper to find it, you thirst after it. You have a tunnel vision that is directed only towards your goal, that is to be closer to Him. That's what He wants us to do anyway. Just to be closer to Him.

I don't know who this helped today, but it sure ministered to me .

Seeking the next while I'm in my now...


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