Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How to jump out, when you've jumped in head first!

Ok, it's been a minute. After you read this, you will know why. lol.

So, you meet a new guy, he's darn near perfect, you have a great time with him, you have a zillion things in common, and you're like, "This is it!". For 3-4 weeks, you're non-stop with this guy, you've learned more about him than you know about yourself, you spend every free moment with him, he's your quintessential BFF and boo. You have those future talks about marriage, kids, life after being single all that blah,blah stuff and you're like, "is he trying to get serious????" lol. A million questions are running through your head. You like him, but do you like him,like him? Does he like you like that? You freakin' panic... but then it happens! You're like, "WAIT!!!", it's moving waaaaaaaaay too fast. lol.

You try to slow it up without halting it, you monitor every word so it's not too "binding". Meaning, you don't know if you're ready to make him "the one", but you don't want to go through the hassle of filling that void again. You want to see him everyday, but you don't want to seem too pressed. It starts to get rather complicated mentally, and you are wrecking your brain trying to decide how to address it.

So, obviously I've dealt with this in the past and it was interesting to say the least. I liked this guy, he loved God, was totally great on paper, great skin, cutie pie, all that. We saw each other 23 hours of the day, literally! lol. It was cool until we both started getting those commitment jitters where we knew that was the natural next step, but both weren't willing to take that deep plunge just yet due to past hurts and complications. So what's next? We like each other, but not enough to be totally exclusive, but best believe I would have an attitude with someone else.

My question is, how do you slow down without coming to a halt? You see I'm all over the place with this blog because I've experienced it in the past and kinda, sorta dealing with it now (I hope he's not on here...lol)


♥Nikki D.City Star♥ said...

I hope I don't annoy you with this answer lol...But just let life and LIVE♥ The only thing to do is to continue to enjoy this new young man and allow him to enjoy you..one step at a time, one day at a time :) Its sounds great what you two have thus far, and it will continue to gradually bloom...now you can do this love/like thing the hard way and analyze the crap out of it or you can remind youself that its out of your hands and enjoy every second of the best thing life have to offer (the makings of Love)
Take it from someone that learned the HARD way, lol. Guess, I'm one to talk.♥

Ms. T said...

Well I totally agree with your points in this blog. When you find a good thing, you want to make sure you and that person have the same goals within the relationship. Thats way, even if things seem that their moving fast, you can feel comfortable knowing that person sees you in their future. Its hard these days to find someone that wants a commited relationship and to truly be content with one person, so when you do find someone, you have to see what matters about them, which is not their looks, body size, etc. It should be their golas, motivation, personality, caring for others, etc. So let nature take its course, and when ready have that conversation of when and where you want to take the relationship.

Please return the favor by subscribing to my blog, and I will do the same.

Unbreakable said...

Finding THAT person or the person you think is that is one of the greatest feeling ever...I am longing for that feeling..lol

I say give 100% don't hold back be yourself,Don't loose your rational mind, remain level headed

Kelly Nina Kiyyah said...

Wow! I don't even think I can give a valid response..only because...I'm a victim of this. I know exactly what's going to happen before it even happens. I know I get "caught up" ...we are inseperable and then the jitters set it...and it all comes to a screeching halt. SMH! I find that if you go into a relationship/frienship with motives to FIND Mr. Right... thing end up on this path. If however you just let things be and "go with the flow" you have a better time evaluating things and you can think with a clear head. Enjoy his company, have fun, do set short term goals if you guys are SERIOUS. But don't get too giddy and start writing your name as Mrs. XYZ. Just let it be!

Found your blog randomly! Glad I did! It's great hun! Be back soon!

-Kelly of the *AF* girls!

Lady A said...

I agree with Nikki. Just live and enjoy the moment. I understand everything you are saying, however, you don't wanna look back and regret. Just live in the moment. I can't have that moment again...married for 12yrs, lol.