Ode to 2010: Post 5 of 12

Lesson #4: Forgiveness

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Since dad passed, I have personally confronted people. I have become this pit bull in a skirt when it comes to him or anyone else in my family. Because his passing exposed so many counterfeit friends and family, I have not been timid when it comes to telling it like is. I let folks have it and keep it moving. While I have definitely toned it down a little since March, my intentions are the same, I have to let people know how I feel.

I don’t allow the way people have treated me or anyone in my family to dictate how I live my life. While folks have pissed me off in one way or another, I have had to move forward. I recently sat down with one of my line sisters who I have always been cool with but for one reason or another we grew apart because of some BS I heard. For a while, I just wouldn’t speak to her and she started to noticed. I said, “you know what, let me call________ to have lunch and let her know my issue”. We ate, we talked, we laughed, we cried. She was like, “Mel, I didn’t even know you were mad for real, I just thought you were going through something that day.” Honey, all that time I was going out of my way to have an attitude with someone who didn’t even know I had one. Now what if something happened to one of us and we left that issue unresolved? Most importantly, we simply missed out on time we could have been building upon our relationship and ultimately working in collaboration. It was such a waste of time to have an attitude about something that could have been easily resolved.

There are some other people I wouldn’t mind backing my car over, but I am really, really praying about them. When the opportunity presents itself, I will make sure I make the situations right. I promise I will. The crazy thing is they probably don’t even know for real. Unforgiveness is merely like drinking poison and thinking the other person will die. You have to know that not forgiving a person will merely hurt you, not them. Unforgiveness might be blocking your breakthrough. While I have let the offenses go, I need to remove the way I feel about the people. It’s unfortunate because they really might be great people, but I may never know it. It’s funny because people will have a preconceived notion about you and when they meet you they have to laugh because they were so off! The same goes for people who have hurt you. Many times their actions were out of immaturity or lack of knowledge. A mere conversation can clear up years of wasted time.

That’s my mission as I close this year out and usher in the next. I am not letting anyone get in the way of my next level. If it means forgiving people who have hurt me greatly, then so be it.

Forgiving so I can be free,

~Mel