Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Ode to 2010: Post 3 of 12

Lesson #2: Faith

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"- Hebrews 11:1

More than anything, I know that without God, I am nothing. This year has taught me that I have to be oblivious to what I (physically) see and focus on the things hoped for. Everything I’ve stood on faith to believe, I have received. The things that have been slow to come are obviously not finished being worked on. I’ve had to truly stand on His word with every step.

I think about why certain relationships have ended the way they did or why certain job opportunities have or haven’t presented themselves, and I merely have to stop dead in my thoughts. I have to go back to realize how God has rescued me before. There is nothing more I can do to change my future but to believe God for what I desire. More than anything, I have to realize that God will not give me more than I am capable of handling. It’s like a 3 year old asking for a new (real) car for Christmas. No parent would give a toddler a 10 ton machine right? So why would God give me things that I am not ready for?

I think about leaving a job that I thought was carved specifically for me. This was such a defining moment for me. I was a part of a dynamic management duo that was set to take the Atlanta schools by storm. Once we got wind of shady businesses practices, we began to ask questions. As you know, the moment you try to stand up for something right, you because the person that was wrong. In order to not further be a part of foolishness, I simply walked away without a fight. I didn’t put any energy into it. While I had some free time to dream, I spent some very valuable moments with my father, soaking up some valuable knowledge. Within a month, he was gone. I didn’t know why God wanted me to leave that job until I watch my dad leave the earth. I knew in that very moment that God wanted me to take time to do things that were most important, and that was to be with my dad. That one small step of faith turned out to be the best decision I ever made. Months later, my organization lost all government funding, folks went to jail, and the entire operation foiled. God wanted me out of the way.

Since the day I have left, I have had numerous opportunities to travel, work on high profile projects with celebrities, work on contracts that I would have never been able to work on, meet incredible new people, and live out my dreams. Now this my friend, is a life of faith. Not knowing if unemployment will be renewed. Not knowing if the money in my savings will be enough. Not knowing if a client’s check will clear. Not knowing if the next client will become available. Not knowing if I will get the interview. My life has truly been founded on “give us this daily our daily bread”. I have had to make myself understand that it only takes a one phone call, one moment, one person, one day, to change your entire life. (For the good). God can take everything you’ve been praying for and give it all to you in one singular moment. When I stand firm on this very belief, I am not pulled into a whirlwind of depression and fret. I just have to know that if it is to work out, then it will. If the answer doesn’t come in this very moment, then it will have to come in the next.
Finding comfort in living from faith to other choice,

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