Ode to 2010: Post 5 of 12

Lesson #4: Forgiveness

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Since dad passed, I have personally confronted people. I have become this pit bull in a skirt when it comes to him or anyone else in my family. Because his passing exposed so many counterfeit friends and family, I have not been timid when it comes to telling it like is. I let folks have it and keep it moving. While I have definitely toned it down a little since March, my intentions are the same, I have to let people know how I feel.

I don’t allow the way people have treated me or anyone in my family to dictate how I live my life. While folks have pissed me off in one way or another, I have had to move forward. I recently sat down with one of my line sisters who I have always been cool with but for one reason or another we grew apart because of some BS I heard. For a while, I just wouldn’t speak to her and she started to noticed. I said, “you know what, let me call________ to have lunch and let her know my issue”. We ate, we talked, we laughed, we cried. She was like, “Mel, I didn’t even know you were mad for real, I just thought you were going through something that day.” Honey, all that time I was going out of my way to have an attitude with someone who didn’t even know I had one. Now what if something happened to one of us and we left that issue unresolved? Most importantly, we simply missed out on time we could have been building upon our relationship and ultimately working in collaboration. It was such a waste of time to have an attitude about something that could have been easily resolved.

There are some other people I wouldn’t mind backing my car over, but I am really, really praying about them. When the opportunity presents itself, I will make sure I make the situations right. I promise I will. The crazy thing is they probably don’t even know for real. Unforgiveness is merely like drinking poison and thinking the other person will die. You have to know that not forgiving a person will merely hurt you, not them. Unforgiveness might be blocking your breakthrough. While I have let the offenses go, I need to remove the way I feel about the people. It’s unfortunate because they really might be great people, but I may never know it. It’s funny because people will have a preconceived notion about you and when they meet you they have to laugh because they were so off! The same goes for people who have hurt you. Many times their actions were out of immaturity or lack of knowledge. A mere conversation can clear up years of wasted time.

That’s my mission as I close this year out and usher in the next. I am not letting anyone get in the way of my next level. If it means forgiving people who have hurt me greatly, then so be it.

Forgiving so I can be free,

~Mel

The Power of Release

Now, this is a post that is a LIFETIME in the writing. *sigh* .....Release. The power of release is incredible. Whether it is releasing someone who has hurt or disappointed you, someone who has purposely broken your heart, a job that turned you down, or even totally surrendering something over to God. Releasing is another one of life's hidden weapons. A weapon that is necessary to utilize at one point or another.

As you know, my dad was a pastor of a church in Miami. Last year, he transferred pastoral duties over to the assistant pastor and his wife. It was cool with us because we felt God was taking our family to another level in ministry so it was no biggie. During that time, we would get random calls about what was going on down there and how things were now being handled and of course I was NOT happy. Being the 1st official member of the church, I took everything personal. Whether it was my battle or not, I felt personally offended when something happened with my parents or with the church. So when dad died, we had to go down to Miami rather frequently to make sure things were running according to the legacy dad left behind. Well, on Mother's day, we went to visit and took a life size portrait of my dad to put up in front of the church. We had to present it to the congregation and talk about him. Well, of course, I broke down in the pulpit and had to be escorted to the car. I didn't even eat. I could feel the negative vibes of the people and I began to go from sorrow to anger within seconds. I had to flee the building. I had come to the conclusion that I didn't want to come back to the church and didn't want to be bothered with any of it.

Well honey, you know our ways are not always God's. I was supposed to spend the weekend of September 10th with my boo for his birthday but that ended up being a FAIL (you know I was super pissed), so I ended up flying to Miami with my mom to preach on September 12th. Which also happened to be the 6 month mark of dad passing. Earlier during the week God gave me the word, "Release". Here I am thinking I'm giving a profound word for the other people in bible study and it was for me. God was telling me to release all the ought and ill feelings I had so He could use me. So we get to service that Sunday and we received the usual "We miss y'all.. Glad y'all came... We miss pastor.." Blah, blah, blah. But one person in particular had a lil' attitude with me. You know the old me would of shot her the bird right in service, but I had already released her and her ugly spirit before I got to the church. My mom grabbed the mic and began to praise God from a place of hurt and healing. One like never before. God told me, "GO SING". You know I was fighting it tooth and nail. Well, low and behold, I ended up RIGHT in the pulpit, singing 30 minutes straight about breakthrough and God turning it around. People began to run the aisles, began to cry out, began to get healed, began to praise God like never before. All because of my obedience to the spirit and total surrender. In the midst of my releasing the hurt and pain I've experienced, God began to release my gifts and a breakthrough on my behalf.

You see, the enemy wants you to be so caught up in frivolous moments and people that you miss your opportunity to be used as a vessel to bless others and even to bless yourself. If we sit back and find the moments when someone allegedly pissed us off, we will realized that it's not worth wasting another day fretting over. While we are so caught up being mad, they are going on with their lives.

I was watching Oprah the other day and Terry McMillan was talking about how she just had to get up one day and release all the bad things her ex-husband did to her. Oprah had to admit the same thing that a woman had pissed her off 20 years ago and she she saw her laughing it up on the street. She was like, "here I am mad this lady and she has completely moved on with her life. She probably doesn't even know I'm mad". And that's the truth.

The enemy tries to get you trapped in that moment of offense that you don't move forward while the other person is moving through life like nothing ever happened. I think about my ex who is getting married. He probably has no idea how I can still get pissed off about somethings from the past. Meanwhile, he's planning a wedding and mapping out his new life, while I'm praying daily not to slip into depression and despair. I had to let him and all my past issues go all long, long time ago. It's just not worth it to me.

The true power of release is just that, RELEASE! When you let things go, you activate something in heaven. How can you expect to receive anything when you are so full of other things. If you want God to bless you with that job or that man, you have to let go all those ill feelings that you have harbored against things of the past. The beauty of release is the total surrendering to God. He can move through you if you are totally willing to be used. Release all inhibitions will allow God to move mightily on your behalf. There are gifts in your that are merely waiting to be activated and used to change the world. You need only release all the ideals you once had and adapt to those of God.

I'll telling you what I know, the power of release is so incredible. You should try it today and get to what God really wants you to have.

Releasing so God can release,

~Mel

When you mess up, get back up

In life, we have all fallen victim to sin, temptation, sin, neglect, and just out right backsliding. Believe me, you are truly not alone. When I look back over my life at my moments of indiscretions and mistakes, I have seen God STILL make a move in my life. In the Bible, God used some of the most unlikely people as vessels.

Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

-Psalm 51:2

You see, its not about the act, its about the condition of your heart and how you get back up. When you mess up, get up! Don't wallow in self pity. Don't allow the enemy to tell you that you're not worthy of God's blessings or His Call on your life. You are worthy. You are the "one". You are the vehicle that the Lord needs to use to get the work of the kingdom done.

“You are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful.”
- Nehemiah 9:17

Regardless of what you've done, you need to have to have faith in who God has ordained you to be and walk in authority. Many times, we fall into the enemy's trap of guilt and make ourselves stay in a place of unforgiveness. It is like a disease that eats away our spirit and our ability to bless others. God has already forgiven you. Now you must get up and forgive yourself.

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

-Luke 23:34

Knowing the grace that God provides isn't a free pass to go back to those low places, but it is a pass to get out of them and to not return. When you learn from past mistakes and understand their role in your journey, there is no need to do a repeat.

So as you live your life and may fall short, get back up, stand tall, and know that God is watching your every move. Trust and know that God loves you for your heart and will towards Him. He is counting on your "comeback" to show others how good He is.

Getting back up and to work....

~Mel