They Miss You When You're Gone....

So last night, like the rest of America, I was sitting around waiting to see where LeBron James was going. Being the educated sports aficionado I am (yeah right...lol), I had done my research and heard it was pretty much a done deal for him to go to Miami. But, I still tuned in and participated in the hype with the rest of country. Within moments he made one city overjoyed with hope, love, and anticipation, while his hometown yelled in outraged, burned his jerseys and cursed him out. I was like, "WOW, the man gave y'all 7 years, wasn't that enough?". He had gained an instant group of fans and haters all within one statement, "I'm going with The Miami Heat".

Isn't that just like in relationships or on a job where you are ready to take it to the next level? Where you want something more? Where you are simply not content? You give a man years and years of your life, only to end up fruitless and hopeless. Or on a job where you give all of your talent and hard work, only for them to give your promotion to someone else. The moment you threaten to leave, they start to scramble to find ways to keep you. Like the thought of you being with someone else or another company makes them sick. I find it hilarious.

When I look back over my past relationships (one in particular), I think about the things I endured and the issues I looked over, I was so unfulfilled. At one point, I decided to walk away. When I tell you the flowers came flooding in, dinners were cooked, calls wouldn't stop. As soon as he thought he couldn't have me anymore, he got sick. We played this game for a few years. Through other relationships, we always seemed to have some sort of tie. Through phone number changes, city changes, job changes, we always found ways to stay connected. The moment I said I was no longer interested in having any contact, he was not happy. Over time, he began to see what an asset I was to his life, but it was too late. I saw way too many other offers out there. I was hot stuff! lol. A lot like Cleveland and LeBron James. Now that he is gone, his importance is far more realized.

The funny thing about moving on is that you are able to explore other options and further define who you are. When you look back at where you began, you begin to understand why God allowed certain things and why He has ended others. Sometimes we find ourselves in relationships or jobs where we are not appreciated and are often taken for granted. We know we deserve better, but don't take the steps to find something better. I urge you today to be like LeBron, remember the good times, but don't be afraid to step out and make new ones with a new team. A new team could be a new city, a new job, a new life, a new relationship, you name it. You deserve to be treated at your worth.

Sometimes is takes the right combination to bring out the best in you. It may take a major step of faith on your behalf. You cannot sit back and believe something will happen without actually moving in the direction of it. If you believe God is telling you to make a career change, don't busy yourself with all of the details, keep praying for the right connection and the rest will fall into place. If you believe God for that husband/wife, don't get caught up in what you experienced in the past or even small imperfections, trust God for the right person to be placed in your path. When you totally surrender to God, your past will be just that, a thing of the past. You will be driving away into your destiny, looking at all the "nay-sayers" in the rear view mirrors.

Be like LeBron, throw on your shades, suit up for the game called life, and be ready to give your all. They will miss you when you're gone, but imagine all the new things that are ahead. They can all be yours if you merely believe. You deserve it!

They miss me everyday as I keep walking further away....

-Mel

Don't Forget to Remember

Well, today is July 8, 2010, which would have been my father's 54th birthday. Needless to say that today was a little rough, initially, but I got through it. I think the comfort in knowing that my father was such a good man helps me daily. Knowing that he lived his life helping others and living life to the fullest, is pushing me to do the same. Days like this force me to remember and that's something that I vow never to forget to do.

So many times we go through life living in fast forward. Living for the day, not remembering where we've come from, what God has delivered us from and who we once were. We forget to remember. We forget those moments that have shaped us, those defining moments that were instrumental to who we have become, those moments that are forever in our hearts and minds.

Initially, I wanted to spend the day crying about missing my daddy and all the things I wanted to do, but God just wouldn't let me. I felt him all day. I could hear dad saying it was going to be ok and that I had all I needed to move forward in life. That's the thing about memories, they are more than moments in time, they are moments that create who we are today. When we tap into those moments from the past, those good moments, it's like an energy recharge. Wonderful feelings come rushing back in.

I know that I have to release my dad spiritually to the Heavens, but I will forever have him in my heart. All the teachings about being a dynamic woman of God, a wonderful wife, and an individual will forever resonate in my heart and mind. Days like today make me realize my memories are so rich that I have everything I need for the future. When I cry, it is not out of sadness, but out of celebration. Celebrating the memories that I was blessed with, as well the hope I have for the future.

I won't forget to remember all that I've had because I know it will prepare me for all that I will have :O)

Never forgetting to remember,

-Mel

Here is a video of my dad last year saying Happy Birthday to himself. Speechless every time I watch it.....

I Can See Better In The Dark

Since getting back from my travels, I have been trying to get the house back in some sort of order. I've cleaned up from top to bottom. In the kitchen, everything is made from real wood and marble, so I have to use a separate set of cleaners. As soon as I thought I was done scrubbing, I sat down at the breakfast table, only to find a hideous water mark. I cut on all the lights and wiped it down and was on my way. Then my mom tells me, "cut the lights OFF, and you will be able to see better." I was like, "huh? that makes no sense." But I did and I was able to see all that I needed to see in order to clean the table properly. A natural light came in the room and my eyes began to adjust. It's crazy, but I could actually see better in the dark.

Now, at first you might be like, "seeing better in the dark, Melissa where are you going with this?", but trust me , it makes all the sense in the world. In the natural, we cut the lights off and we are initially blinded, everything is blacked out, but then within moments, our eyes adjust and we begin to see as if the lights were on slightly. It's like God turns on night vision for us. The same applies to life's darkest moments. When we initially can't see what's next or how to get out of a situation, but somehow God gives us the ability to see.

I look back over my life's darkest situations and I know it was God that got me through, just no other way. I always go back to the recent loss of my dad and how I didn't think I would be able to function ever again. Somehow, my vision became clearer during the process. I got closer to seeing my destiny, I saw who was truly in my corner, and I could actually see where God wanted me to be. It's like I received a supernatural gift of sight in the spirit. In my darkest periods of life, God allowed my spiritual eye to have keen vision and understanding. It was not only for me to know what He wanted for me, but to see it.

You see, God allows dark moments in our lives not to destroy us, but to strengthen us. Think back at all the moments in your life where you felt all alone and hopeless, who did you have to pull on? Who was your only hope? How were you able to "see" your way out? God right? Yes, it was Him. That's the thing, God has already seen your low,dark moments but He has already seen you in victory, triumphing over your life's adversities. Sounds like someone that has the inside tip huh? Someone you truly need to keep in your corner.

As you go through life experiencing ups and downs, don't lose hope and feel like you're in the dark, trust God to see your way out and wait for Him to send you some supernatural help. Not only can He do it, but He WILL. We need only trust in Him. Know that even in your darkest moments, you will be able to see the greatest. It's all about perspective and trusting God. That's all we can do.

Seeing in the midst of darkness,

-Mel

Be You... Who Else Will Be?

Yeah, I know I have been a little "incognegro" for the past few days, forgive me, I have been travelling quite extensively lately. It's a blessing though. I just came back from a girls weekend in New Orleans for The Essence Music Festival. Boy, what a trip! I learned so much about myself and others that I swear I will have an entire book written. lol. Out of all the things I learned, I learned that if I am just myself, that should be enough. Even if it seems like a lot for others.

Anytime you put 4 different women in their late 20s in one room, you are bound to have some personality clashes, disagreements, and "intense" conversations. And honey, we truly had all of the above and THEN some. lol. We were able to get through most of our discussions without feelings being hurt, but each of us stood strong in our opinions. The one incident that stood out to me was when I was getting dressed. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE eyeshadow and lipstick, bright colors, funky shoes, and TIGHTS.. lol. If I could pursue a career of make-up artistry & styling, I would probably do it for free. But anyway, I was getting dressed and my girl was like, "are you going to wear ALL of those colors and that lipstick?" I turned around like, "Yeah, what's the problem?" She was like, "Oh nothing girl, I just know I would look like a drag queen or a show girl if I did it, but it's cool for you." You know I got a lil' attitude right? I had to pull my response together so I wouldn't sound like I was offended. I was initially taken aback, but I realized that everything isn't for everybody.

In life, people aren't always going to agree with what you do and who you are, but that should never stop you from being exactly who God ordained you to be. Now, many of my friends think I am a little "over the top" with my dress & style, my humor, and my approach, but it works for me. It has gotten me national exposure on television, radio, newspapers, magazines, and even the Internet. Just by being me. Never second guessing what I say or do. Never thinking twice about why I wear what I wear or even when I wear it. It feels good to be "different". It's really all I know.

My whole life, my parents have encouraged individuality. I can remember growing up and having a pair of hot pink cowgirl boots. They were the flyest shoes to me. (Now mind you, I was only 3 years old..lol.) I would wear them everywhere. To the store, to church, even with my uniform to pre-school. My mom said I loved those shoes, so she let me wear them. My mom didn't think I was being a brat, but instead developing my style, my personality, who I was to become. To this day, I will rock a funky pair of kicks, whether they match my outfit or not, just because.

If I ever stopped being me, then who will? Who will be the fabulous "rainbow brite" that stands out in a crowd and is not afraid to rock orange lipstick? (yeah, I definitely wore some this weekend. lol) Who cares if other people don't understand it. Who cares if people don't know how to process who you are? It's a reason for everything you do and all that you are. When you being just you and are out in the world, it will attract the right person/people in your life. Just being you will open the right doors, will have you in the right place, and have you walk into your destiny. Never water down who you are to appease anyone.

Being who you are goes beyond style and what you decide to wear. It goes deeper to how you pray, how you forgive, how you bless others, how you hold on to your faith. All of that. You have to develop a formula that works for you. One that pushes you closer to your destiny and closer to God. That's the ultimate goal. To become who you are destined to be. Never stop holding on to what God has placed in you, no matter what others may think. You are you for a reason and nothing else really matters. As long as people can see the light shinning in you that God has placed there, you're job has been done.

Standing strong in who I am,

-Mel