Updated Blog: www.houseofflyness.wordpress.com

Please visit my most up to date blog at: www.houseofflyness.wordpress.com. 

I will be updating all of my blog entires there. 

~Mel 

Please Visit My New Site--> www.houseofflyness.com

>This site is down and will be updated soon. Please visit www.houseofflyness.wordpress.com <

Message Updated 1/9/2013

Hello lovely followers, readers, supporters, and all others. I have been wondering why I haven't heard from a lot of my favorite people. lol. Clearly I forgot to announce the launch of my new and improved site----> http://www.houseofflyness.com/. I have about 25 new posts that you all would absolutely love and identify with. I pray that they will minister to you and encourage you. 2011 has been an interesting year that I thank God that I was able to witness it. I know that they are great things to come. Please follow my journey so I can share my stories with you.

Let me know what you think of the site.... be encouraged :O)

~Mel

Redefining My Happy & Taking the Stage

In searching for my next “big thing” in life, I have been redefining my happy. One of the hardest things to do, but the most necessary.

In life, we experience a myriad of things that truly help define who we are. We learn the things that make us happy, sad, angry, and indifferent. Life gives us things that we may or may not be able to change, but we can control how we react to it all. I sit back and remember my 2010 and realize that God allowed me to become greater than ever before. Never would I have imagined facing some of the trials that I have, but certainly, I have become a better version of myself.
I have slowly learned how to process each crisis I am faced with and try to walk away with a lesson. Don’t get me wrong, it is NEVER easy to press through a tough situation. I probably cry just about every day, but I dry my tears and get to the next moment. I don’t ever sugarcoat how I feel. While I don’t take my frustrations out on others, I am very transparent about the emotions I am experiencing. I think when you’re honest with true friends, they can help you walk through it. Many people may not understand your journey, but it is ok. God knows you better than anyone. I always take at least 30 minutes to an hour to spend alone with God. Whether it’s through worshipping or reading the word, I always make an effort to be ministered to. Intimate moments with Him fill you in ways you can never imagine. Many times, all you need is a quiet moment to recharge.

Today I had the opportunity to speak to about 300 kids about bullying, following their dreams, and helping them to define their passions in life. As I stood on stage, I literally had an out of body experience. I have spoken to youth for many years, so this was no new thing for me. Something about this day was very unique. I simply was not by myself up there. I felt the presence of God and my earthly father all at once. It hit me! This is where I am supposed to be. This is where it all came together. This is what God wants me to keep doing. Everything I had experienced up until this very moment prepared me for the stage. God’s ultimate goal was to prepare me to push others to their places of excellence.

My dad would always urge me to accompany him to his speaking engagements, made me read certain books, and even gave me scriptural assignments. I would fight it all tooth and nail. As I stood on the stage, like so many times before, I realized that I was being prepared to be the same motivator as my father. Simply amazing! There is no greater moment than when you experience purpose live and in action. Better than that, there is no greater moment than when you feel close to someone you will never see again. For some reason, I felt him when I began to engage with the youth. The very same man that I weep over losing is the one that pushes me to excellence while I am on the stage. I knew the moment I put my hand on the mic, my father had his hand on my shoulder and my Heavenly Father was covering us both.

The loss of him propelled me to gain a greater understanding of who I am in Christ and in the world. I possessed my father’s humor and wit while channeling the intellect and insight my mother continues to instill in me. In that very moment today on stage, I felt at home. Because I was operating in my divine assignment, I had no free moments to weep because I working. I knew in that very moment that if I wanted my tears to stop falling, I had to continue to keep operating in purpose.

I have learned that in every life defining moment, there is a hidden opportunity. God employs unconventional methods to push us towards who He desires for us to be. He wants us to be great not matter what! Just because you feel lost, it doesn’t mean you can’t be found. God allows life’s defining movements to evoke: Visions... inspirations… opportunities… Sometimes it takes getting knocked off track to get you right back on track. What you need, you sow. If you need inspiration, be the one to sow it. It may be your destiny to push someone to theirs. That is my purpose, I am sure of it. God wants me to push others to higher heights while He is further cultivating me for the Kingdom.

While I am still healing and learning I am continuously seeking God. I know that I will not be the first person to feel lost or to lose a loved one. I refuse to let my pain serve as my “crutch’, it will act as my catalyst instead. I will be propelled further into my destiny by my defining moments. God will never take you to a place that He cannot dwell in. I know that I will always be covered no matter what I experience. So I take everything that I have experienced up until this very moment and I use it to bless others. I know that God is the ultimate author and finisher of my story so I will continue to let Him write it. It simply has to get better….He promised so.

Redefining my happy while allowing God to redefine who I am….

~Mel

Yesterday is Gone Now.....

I can remember vividly February 25, 2010… a year ago to this very date. I had recently decided to relinquish my ties with my old job, I was battling over my health insurance coverage, and debating on my next step. I sat at the breakfast table with my mom & dad and just wept. My tears were from a very, very deep place. They came from place of confusion, hurt, and misdirection. I simply did not know what God wanted me to do. After years of being that “somebody” to so many people, I was now the person that needed somebody. I can still feel my father’s hand on my shoulder assuring me that it was going to get better. I can hear his booming voice telling me that I just needed to keep believing. I looked in my father’s eyes and saw years of holding on to God’s promises. I saw a man so full of faith that it frightened me. I saw a man that held God to His every word and boldly approached the throne. I saw a man that knew that I was going to be ok as long as I kept holding on to what God said and what I had been taught. I was looking at a man that knew on February 26, 2010, that he would suffer a massive stroke and would never return to us.

You see, it took me a whole year to even write this. I can vividly remember everything about that day. My dad’s voice, his phone ringing, the TV being loud, making him a smoothie, him hugging me and saying “I love you”, him looking me directly in the eyes. Something about that day still shakes me to the core. The last day I would ever interact with one of my verfy best friends, confidant, and spiritual advisor, and Man of God. My dad was the type of man to love without limits. He wasn’t afraid to cry, show emotion, or let you know when he was hurting. He certainly lived every moment like it was his last. On this day, he knew that February 26, 2010 would be his last normal day on earth. I remember my phone coming alive with his ringer and his voice being slurred saying, “help…home… help”. As I helplessly asked him what was wrong, all his brain would allow to come out was “serious, home…help…my heart…”. My entire life came to a halt. My worst nightmare was my current reality. I couldn’t keep my composure My mom & I were 20minutes away from the house and couldn’t make it to him in time. I had to call the fire rescue to break in the house to get him. The remains of the broken door would be symbolic of my broken heart that still remains. It would be symbolic of our broken family structure. Symbolic of the broken pieces that would remain of our lives that we would have to find a way to put back together. The shattered pieces that would now belong to us forever. My best friend was taken from me in an instant and would never, ever return.

The devastation of losing a family member is something that is simply unexplainable. Losing the person who was ½ of reason why I was in earth was a tough reality to grasp. The pain of moving forward with life often halts me from flying. Feels like I have gorgeous wings that have been clipped. Having all the equipment to fly but somehow finding comfort in staying on the ground. Day by day I have been less and less afraid to fly high, but it’s the hardest trial I have ever had to face. When you can’t hear your biggest fan cheering in the stands, it feels like the game isn’t worth playing. I can still hear him saying “kill ‘em baby girl” whenever I would get dressed up to go speak or merely hang out with my friends. He always knew that I would one day have to fly without him. Wish it were just that easy to do.

While I know I will never be with him physically on earth again, his spirit lives on forever. Whether it is through his innovations, his sermons, his businesses, his jokes, through my mom & sisters, he will forever be a part of us. I can still hear him faintly when I find quiet moments to remember. My #1 fan now has the best seat in the house, in Heaven. He can now see it all (that’s pretty scary…lol). At this point, it’s all about moving toward his dream for me to be great and to make this grandson named Michael Anthony that we each promised we would give him. Lol. Well, that is after I marry this man that he kept talking about. My daddy was a true man of God. He described my husband to a T. Now if I could only meet (and marry) this man who remains a fictitious character at this point. (That’s a totally different blog post, so let me save that discussion before I go OFF!)

As I move forward with everything I have, I know that I have to rightfully claim my place in life. It would be a disservice to his memory and ultimately disrespecting God. I know that I need to cry and get through it, but I must steadily move. The thing I have learned about life is that it truly goes on. No matter the circumstances. The sun rises at its scheduled time and sets just the same. People die, more are born, and the cycle continues. People cry, laugh, get angry and get sad. Life moves forward with or without us. As I sit here a year later, a piece of me is still missing but I know I am going to be ok. God promised I would be.

What would you do if the yesterdays you possessed with someone would be all you had? What if you knew the last moment you shared with them would be your last moment you would ever share? I wish I knew. Maybe I would have said more, or even less, but I would have tried to capture everything I could and hold it all forever. At this juncture in life, I can’t live in what I thought yesterday should of possessed, I can only move on to make this very moment greater than the one before. Once we all have the courage to let those yesterdays go, we can maximize the tomorrows that will come.

Realizing My Yesterdays Are Gone And My Tomorrows Aren't Promised....

~Mel

Ode To 2010: Post 12 of 12

Well, what can truly be said about a year that has singlehandedly changed a course 27 years in the making? So very, very much MUST be said. When I approached this year, I was filled with an uneasy level of expectancy, trepidation, and millions of butterflies in my stomach. I looked at my dream board from this year and read the letter I wrote myself. All I kept saying was, “This is my year. This is my year. This is my year.” Nowhere in that letter did I mention that I would sever ties with my job. Never did I mention that I would lose my dad the second month of the year. Never in that letter did I mention that I would meet some of the most incredible men. Never in that letter did I mention that I would see people for who they really were and eliminate many from my life. Never. Never did I mention that I would be the beacon of light for so many others while enduring some of my life’s toughest trials, never. Somehow, God knew and He prepared me for 27 years.

2010 has been a year of many lessons, trials, tribulations, triumphs, and moments of clarity. My account of this year would be severely jumbled up if I didn’t categorize them to some extent. I have decided to pick the top 10 lessons that I’ve learned this year. Take out your pen & pad, tissue, popcorn, and your phone. This will be enlightening, emotional, entertaining, and fill you will epiphanies. When you finish reading this, you will truly know why I will never be the same. Here goes it……

Flying High Above It All....

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 11 of 12

Lesson #10: Art of Letting Go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life, but the most essential. -Me

There is great power in letting go. I think this is the most powerful lesson I had to learn totally against my will. I am often and transported back to March 12, 2010 at 3:50 pm at Emory University Hospital. This is where I witnessed my very best friend, prayer partner, spiritual father, laughing buddy, role model and father, be zipped up into a huge white Ziploc bag and shipped off to the morgue. (I have to be vivid because this paints my reality.) I stood there and watched this as an out of body experience. This moment was one that I dreaded all my life, but God saw fit for it to happen as a 27 year old woman a journey. I stood there and realized that all the memories I had were all the ones that I will ever have. I realized that all the stories, sermons, and pointers I would get to be a wife had already been given. I realized that transfer of favor was now a final transaction. I realized that his dreams were now mine to spread to the masses. I realized that I was no longer daddy’s girl, I was daddy’s woman. I had to realize that everything I was taught from 1982 would count in this very moment. I just stood there as God began to whisper in my ear, “Let go Mel, the time is now.” I had to turn around to look to see who else was in the room. I could feel my father’s spirit in the air. It was no longer in that white bag. That was just his peanut butter colored space suit (as he would call it). Man. This was the moment he prepared me for.

In that very poignant moment in my life, not one tear fell. I was still in somewhat of shock. I went through the motions of planning his funeral, picking out his 3 suits, calling all his friends, setting up accounts, choosing our wardrobe for all the services, coordinating with all the churches & funeral homes, cleaning out his car, and ironing out all the details for our new life. You name it, I did it effortlessly, still with no tears. This was probably one of the most defining moments in my life. This is where I knew God can give you the strength when you need it. I had to realize that daddy’s woman now had a lot of things to take care of. I had to let go of him on this side so he could get to kingdom business.

My life now is one that is not filled with a lot of rhetoric and foolishness. If I say it, I mean it. If I want it, I get it. If I love you, I love you for life. If I need a moment, I take it. If I believe it, God will make sure I receive it. If I need it, I already know it will be taken care of. I have let go of what I think normalcy is required to be. While I desire those rose colored glasses to view life from, I have chosen to put on the amour of the Lord and look towards the bigger picture. I am going to use every gift to the fullest extent, go on every trip, and live life to the edges of the earth. I am not afraid to love 100 times over. I have let go of what people have thought of me and (re) convinced myself of all that I have been destined to be. I have let go of the alleged singular path to greatness. I have let go of the idiosyncrasies of mediocrity and complacency. I have let go of the disappointments of love lost and love that still remained in my hand & heart. I have had to let it all go.

I now understand why eagles take their young to the highest peak to learn how to fly. Even if they fall short, they are still above so many others. I get it now. I see why my parents did all they did. I get it. I know why daddy transferred his anointing to me, why he gave me all of his passwords, why he constantly wanted to make everything a teaching moment, why he made me VP of his companies, why he shared all his dreams with me. He wanted me to fly….on my own. He took me to the highest peak and prepared me to fly. When I look up in the sky, I can see two huge peanut butter colored thumbs up and his saying, “That’s it baby girl”. That’s all I really need anyway.

Letting it all go so I can get what I need next,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 10 of 12

Lesson #9: Keep Dreaming and Believing

The thing about dreams is that at some point we have to wake up and live them….. -Me

Do you possess the ability to dream without measure? Do you think you possess the power to dream when everyone says your dream is not going to happen? Do you think you’re able to hold on to what God promised when it looks like it will never happen? Do you think all your believing has been in vain? Do you think what you want is too much to ask? Do you think you’re worthy of all your dreams coming true? Can you believe? These are some of the questions that I often ask myself.

I think about the numerous dream boards I’ve made, the promises God has told me, the things I have been told by prophets, and I’m like, “God are you sure?”. Sometimes my reality doesn’t always directly correlate with my dreams and I am often baffled. In my moments of doubt, I immediately have to rebuke the enemy. That’s often when breakthrough comes. When I feel like I am about to fail, I have to go to God in prayer. I have to find a way to ignore what I see and understand that what I don’t see is working on my behalf. I literally have to repeat out loud “Walk by faith and not by sight” over and over again. Once I get this mantra back reprogrammed into my spirit, God shows up.

I have really, really had to walk by faith this year. Leaving a job, having to survive, wanting to still bless others, and just trying to remain significant, I have had quite a journey. Through all of my struggles, I can say God is good. When God says He will grant you your daily bread, He is not a man that He should lie. I really, really wish I could tell you everything that I have triumphed over and been able to get the victory in. Every time I needed a bill paid, or a sign, God wasn’t slow to move. I can recount numerous times where I said, “mom, God is about to send a check in the mail”, and within days it came into fruition. I know God is real. The moment I try to doubt His ability to work it out, I am reminded of how He showed up before.

My spirituality has been heightened in the midst of my life’s greatest storm. I have seen God move in the spiritual realm right before my eyes. Words cannot express the way I feel right now.
When you are at your lowest, God should be lifted the highest. Nothing is too hard for God, nothing. If something doesn’t work out the way you thought it would, then God has a different plan, He has to.

I have learned to not stop dreaming and believing. Yes, I will be disappointed. Yes, I will have to leave some people in my past. Yes, I will have to walk about from situations that seem ideal. Yes, I will encounter doubt. Yes, I will want to throw in the towel in more ways than one. Yes, I will feel like the weight of the world rests on my shoulders. Yes, people will think I am crazy for believing beyond what I see. But honey, let me tell you, none of that matters when God is in the driver’s seat. I have learned that I have to stop listening to what others say and even some of my own thoughts. The best way to get answers is to be silent. I have had to find a way to get to God through prayer and supplication. I pray about it, write about, and wait on it. Some answers are more explicit while others take a little longer to come. I know that when God has told or showed me something I have to move in that direction or everything else will fail. With God, I am ok. I have learned that when everything else fades away, we will always have God, and that’s more than enough.

Not going to stop dreaming and believing,

~Mel

Ode To 2010: Post 9 of 12

Lesson #8: Perspective

Sometimes you just have to let go of what's in your hand to see what you were holding on to. It's worth will be revealed in time- Me

It’s not about what you’re looking at, it’s about how you see it. Life is all about perspective. The moment you change the way you look at something, you possess the power to change it. While you may not be able to change having a job just yet, you can definitely view it as the possibility of having freedom to live out your dreams and truly decide what you want to do with your life. While you might not be able to change the fact that someone didn’t see greatness in you, you can see the possibility of working to become even greater. You may feel that you are not exactly where you want to be, but you have to see the possibility of dreaming above the possibilities that currently exist. Of course it is always easier said than done, but why not use your time wisely?

I believe struggle is by design. God doesn’t want us to suffer, but He wants us to get the lesson. It is important that we view our journey as class in session. We should constantly evolve and be open to learn something new. Each experience we encounter is designed to make us better. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a loss of a love, a loss of a job, a loss of a desire, whatever it is, God can use it all for His glory. Believe me, I have taken each one of these paths and I can tell you that there is always a silver lining.

I often speak of my dad being gone because it is a part of my daily journey. While he is gone in body, I can feel him in spirit. I have had to take the loss of him in stride, but with my head held high. In the most defining moment in my life, God placed me on a platform for others to see. For some reason, I have been the beacon of light for so many others. Never would I imagine ministering to people all over the world, but somehow God saw fit. It is often in your place of hurt where your calling can be found. When you’ve been to your life’s lowest moment, you garner an uncanny ability to be transparent and an ability to speak with a different voice.

Understanding your seasons is key to transitioning to each new level in life. This is a concept that I have had to grasp quickly, especially when dealing with love. I think about how I’ve loved and learned and had to move on quickly. I think about the men I’ve dated, the things I’ve learned, and how I’ve grown as a result of our time together. I’ve had to take all that we were, record the lessons to memory, and move quickly. It is important to understand what God is doing in your life and who He may send on your path. A person’s purpose in your life may merely be to show you all that you deserve and what you should demand. Someone may come in your life to merely show you that what you desire exists but may come in a different package. Someone may come in your life to help you through a difficult season. Someone may come in your life to keep your spirits held high. You may never know the true purpose of a person’s season in your life until their season has ended. Some reasons come days later, some weeks & months, and some even years. Once you grasp the concept of seasons coming and going, you can move fluidly through life.

It’s hard to move on when you’re constantly living in regret, so don’t. Understand that the decisions you’ve made have been made and the only ones you can control are the one that you will make. See life as a chess game. Move strategically and understand the weight of every move. While you are not able to take months and years to make some decisions, you still have the ability to make the best ones. The way I look at life now is totally different. I have decided that each step I take has already been ordained. The closer I stay to God, the easier decisions are to make. I look to God for answers. If God is in me, then I don’t have to look very far.

Seeing things in a different way changes what I see,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 8 of 12

Lesson #7: Fear

"The key to change .......is to let go of fear" - Rosanne Cash

I remember when I was younger I had a laundry list of things I was fearful of: the dark, certain animals, losing someone I loved, tall trees, dark alleys, failing, being alone, and not being happy. Well, as I got older, I had to face a lot of those fears, well, all of them. While losing my dad was something I thought I could never face, I managed to persevere through it. Amongst all the other things on my list of ‘fears’, I realized that they were all mental. Once I decided that my fears were no greater than me, I was able to rise above them.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in life is that, fear is the opposite of faith. My mom, who serves as my BFF and my spiritual advisor, always stresses that fear cancels out faith. Why pray when you’re going to dwell on what on your issues all day? Why place something on the alter if you keep going back to get it? Why tell God that you are trusting Him but you’re laying awake at night fretting over what you’ve given Him? Fear sends the message to God that you don’t trust Him to handle it.

Facing your fears allows you to move forward. Within the last 12 months, I have had to look my fears directly in the face. I’ve look in the mirror and said this daily, “No matter how big or small, the God in me is bigger than them all.”

I look back over the things I have triumphed over and I am overwhelmed at how God has kept me. He has literally carried me from faith to faith. Every time I thought I would easily crumble or not make it, He has rescued me. I always say, “God will give you what you need when you need it.” Whether it be a person, place, situation, or decision, whatever you have need of in that very moment, God will send it. So we must fear not, everything has already been taken care of.

Knowing fear is the opposite of faith,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 7 of 12

Lesson#6: Time

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
What does the worker gain from his toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.
That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil--this is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account.

The thing about time is that it keeps moving whether you are or not. The world keeps spinning. People keep moving. Life continues to forge ahead. Whether you decide to stand in the very same spot or not, the world will continue to move on without you.

Time doesn’t always heal, it merely pushes the reality of when a moment happened. The more I live through my life’s trials, I realized that time doesn’t (always)heal, but God does. The more you live, God will begin to do a special work through you. Indeed, everything takes times, but above all, it takes God to complete that work in you. So healing is merely a decision and I’ve decided to let God do a great work in me. God doesn’t operate in the measure of time that’s common to us, so we need only find the strength day to day to make it to that breakthrough .

This year, I have learned that “me time” is essential to survival. You have to find a place where you can be with just you. If you’re like me, the world can sometimes be louder than your own voice. It happens to the best of us. I should be married, I should have kids, I should live here, I should make this, I should be with this type of man, I should be doing this, I should know this, I should be going here, etc. All of these preconceived notions that are frivolous in the grander scheme of things. I have had to stop holding on to what I think, to understand what I am to know. I will let that marinate. Lol. Stopping holding on to what you think and hold on to what you know God has promised. Many times we think we have it all figured out and then God shows us a total different, uncharted path. The times where we receive this top secret blueprint is during those quiet moments with God.

I have truly learned the art of loving God in silence. I just sit very still, read His world, and just let Him work me over. Like with any intimate relationship, it doesn’t take a whole lot. The quiet, still interaction let’s Him know it’s all about Him. In that very moment, you let God know you are open and ready. I have had to moments while I am in the car just to go iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin for some good worship. I’m talking about tears streaming, hands up, heart pounding, some real encounters with God. In those very moments, I see myself making it. I see myself preserving through my challenges. I see myself as great as He said I would be.

Prayer and praise are life’s secret weapons. It doesn’t take long for God to show up either. Many times He’s leaning on your door post waiting to knock. All He is waiting for is your open heart. He wants to know if He can trust you with the next level. More importantly, He wants to know if you’re ready.

I have learned to trust God’s timing. I literally just bought my first watch in a few years. I have been so set on trusting God’s timing that I didn’t even want to wear a watch. Well, until I just found this fly watch with orange diamonds. Lol. But really, God’s timing always reigns supreme. Now I have been applying to jobs ALL year. It is unreal. I have been overqualified for most, but still believed God. When I let go of wishing, hoping, and fretting over job opportunities, they began to come in like a flood. Phone calls, emails, random messages, like something out of a movie. Every time it happens, I just to look up and shake my head. God is so faithful. He will always cover you. Whether you verbalize it or not, He is well aware of what you need.

One of the most unique things I have learned about life is that sometimes people have expiration dates and shelf lives too. This is one of the toughest things I have had to come to realize. This is one that we all have to come to realize one way or another. Many times we are fighting to hold on to something that is covered in baby oil, mineral oil, and every other type of oil. Lol. It constantly slips through your grip. These are things that are not meant for us to hold on to. This goes for jobs, people, situations, memories, emotions, etc. We have to understand that there is a time limit on everything. I know I am guilty of holding on to unnecessary things, whether it be love or an old pair of shoes. Lol. I have learned to let people run their courses in my life and move forward. The best thing you can do is let people serve their time and then free yourself of when they are gone.

Knowing that I must trust His timing and not my own,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 6 of 12

Lesson #5: Friends & Family



You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~Desmond Tutu



Sometimes our hearts get tangled. And our souls a little off-kilter. Friends and family can set us right. And help guide us back to the light.~Sera Christann


Let me just tell you there is nothing more important than the people God has connected you to. I can really say that after the year I’ve had, that if it had not been for my friends & family, I would be on serious meds and/or in an institute. The late night prayer meetings, skype chats, texts, FB messages, tweets, phone calls, they made all the difference in my surviving this tumultuous journey.


My (immediate) family is comprised of some of the most incredible women I know. My mom, my 2 sisters, and my god mom Ana. I think about the year we have had and I am simply amazed at how we managed to survive this year’s course of events. Aside from my dad passing, we have REALLY faced some challenges this year, things that I cannot even blog about. In areas of love, health, finances, battles of the mind, jobs, relationships, you name it. We have faced SO much this year and came out like pure gold.


I thank God for my mother, I really do. *cue the tears falling* I cannot think of a more incredible woman of God. A woman who single handedly planned her husband funeral from a laptop in the hospital waiting room while the breathing machine was being unplugged. A woman who made sure her husband was buried like a king amongst family, friends, and foes who gave little or no support. A woman who stood in all white to salute her husband being placed into a marble wall. A woman who has kept the faith in the midst of her greatest storms. A woman who has lived day to day believing God despite what it has looked like or how she felt. A woman who has shown herself strong in the midst of wanting to lay in bed all day to mourn the loss of her best friend. To the woman who has shown me that God is real. My mother. I cannot even fully describe in words what it has been to witness my mother persevere through these past 3 years. Before my dad passed it has been a journey. From leaving a six figure job, to moving to a foreign city, to fighting for what she knows is right, to transitioning to a life of retirement, to making major financial decisions on pure faith, to waking up every morning in pure expectation. Nothing has been more rewarding than seeing my mother laugh or smile. It has been a year of the unexpected, but my mother has done nothing but expect the absolute best from God. When I look at her, her journey, her story, her courage, I know God is real.


My sisters have really stood strong. My baby sis has shown me that my efforts have not been in vain. From winning queen of her school, to passing critical tests with flying colors, to making smart choices, to not succumbing to peer pressure, to facing tough challenges with a smile, to watching our daddy go in that marble wall, she’s become such a big girl this year and I am so very, very proud. My middle baby sis has shown that she is not interested in anything but greatness. From vindicating the Mitchell name, to carving her own path, to making sure she keeps our fabulous legacy alive on campus, to dreaming without measure, to understand her purpose, to not allowing the way people treat her dictate who she is to become, she has evolved and I am proud. Nothing has been more rewarding than watching my sisters blossom into incredible little women. I am so blessed to have built in BFFs and riding partners. It’s amazing how we’ve grown up to become such great friends and closer than ever.



Anyone who knows me knows that my family is my core. It is all that I have. I have gotten closer to one of my favorite cousins in the entire world. It’s sad that it takes someone dying for you to get close (or closer) to your family, but it is essential. What amazes me is how family traits and history always seem to flow throughout your family lineage. It is important to know your family’s plight so you don’t repeat the same unnecessary steps. I am grateful for the way things have transpired. When I look at the people I am NOT close within my family, I am not even hurt or disappointed. God just showed me that there will be less people with their hands out when I become a millionaire and very few can take credit.


Sigh….. my friends. What an incredible set of friends I have been given. Whether I have known a person a lifetime or a short time, I have grown to love and know some truly wonderful people. When I faced my greatest challenge this year, I made one phone call and my girl was at my house within moments to cook for my entire family, no questions asked. You would have thought we were having a birthday party. I hadn’t even realized that we were in the midst of planning a funeral because the house was filled with so much love. But that’s just it! With every loss of love or a loved one, God always finds a way to fill that void.


I have learned that it is essential to be transparent on your plight to greatness. It is ok to be a little vulnerable. It is ok to show who you are (just enough, not all of you). It is ok to let your mascara run a little. It is ok to cry and get it all out. It is ok to say you’re sad or having a bad day. It is ok to say you miss someone and genuinely mean it. It is ok to say you love someone and not necessarily be in deep, deep love. It is ok to be just who you are. You never know how a small statement of truth will alter someone’s course. I think it is essential to tell it all so you can move forward. I am at the point in my life where I really don’t care what people think or say. If someone one truly wants to be free, they choose to be. I choose to be me, no matter the cost. At the end of the day, someone wants that same freedom and may be looking to you for guidance.
My blog has been my medicine this year. Well, the cyber world in general. I have connected with some incredible people. From love, to friendship, to support, to just a few simple words, people have been amazing. Sometimes it’s ok to let new people in your life. Actually, it is very necessary. I think when you are raw and open about something you think you’re the one only struggling with, someone will come along your journey to let you know you are not alone. You become the beacon of light for someone else who is struggling with the same issue. You would be surprised at the people I have met, loved, and befriended this year. All in the midst of what I thought was the worst year of my life. These people made this year go smooth. Really. I know it is nobody but God to have me meet these people along my journey.



I have made friends overnight. It’s funny. I am not the multiple “BFF” type of person, but I have truly become more open to befriending people. Not to the point where we are all meeting up for coffee and joining the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but enough to say, “hey, so and so is cool”. God has connected me to people through tears not necessarily years. It only takes a moment to connect to a great person. If not only for the moment, the purpose has been served.


Speaking of purpose, you cant over think a person’s purpose in your life, eventually they will show you. I truly mean this. I am currently in the process of trying to determine why God connected me to a certain individual. For as quickly as he fell for me, he has fallen completely off the radar. I have no idea why or how, but it has just fizzled. I ask myself, “God why send a new ‘him’ if he has no intentions of staying”. I have cried about it, tried to talk about, and done thinking about it. I cannot allow something to rent that kind of space in my head because the real estate is entirely too expensive. If he wants to stay, he knows how. The sad thing is, when he comes back to where he left me, I may be in a new location. It’s unfortunate, but it’s real.


If God grants you one opportunity, what makes you think He won’t do it again? If He is the provider, what is provided is trivial to Him. So, to think that love won’t find its way back to you is asinine. Nothing is without purpose and timing in your life. For every great thing you experience, another one is ready to find its way to you. Keep believing and know that the cycle must and will continue.


Loving who God has bonded me to and who He sends my way,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 5 of 12

Lesson #4: Forgiveness

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Since dad passed, I have personally confronted people. I have become this pit bull in a skirt when it comes to him or anyone else in my family. Because his passing exposed so many counterfeit friends and family, I have not been timid when it comes to telling it like is. I let folks have it and keep it moving. While I have definitely toned it down a little since March, my intentions are the same, I have to let people know how I feel.

I don’t allow the way people have treated me or anyone in my family to dictate how I live my life. While folks have pissed me off in one way or another, I have had to move forward. I recently sat down with one of my line sisters who I have always been cool with but for one reason or another we grew apart because of some BS I heard. For a while, I just wouldn’t speak to her and she started to noticed. I said, “you know what, let me call________ to have lunch and let her know my issue”. We ate, we talked, we laughed, we cried. She was like, “Mel, I didn’t even know you were mad for real, I just thought you were going through something that day.” Honey, all that time I was going out of my way to have an attitude with someone who didn’t even know I had one. Now what if something happened to one of us and we left that issue unresolved? Most importantly, we simply missed out on time we could have been building upon our relationship and ultimately working in collaboration. It was such a waste of time to have an attitude about something that could have been easily resolved.

There are some other people I wouldn’t mind backing my car over, but I am really, really praying about them. When the opportunity presents itself, I will make sure I make the situations right. I promise I will. The crazy thing is they probably don’t even know for real. Unforgiveness is merely like drinking poison and thinking the other person will die. You have to know that not forgiving a person will merely hurt you, not them. Unforgiveness might be blocking your breakthrough. While I have let the offenses go, I need to remove the way I feel about the people. It’s unfortunate because they really might be great people, but I may never know it. It’s funny because people will have a preconceived notion about you and when they meet you they have to laugh because they were so off! The same goes for people who have hurt you. Many times their actions were out of immaturity or lack of knowledge. A mere conversation can clear up years of wasted time.

That’s my mission as I close this year out and usher in the next. I am not letting anyone get in the way of my next level. If it means forgiving people who have hurt me greatly, then so be it.

Forgiving so I can be free,

~Mel

Ode To 2010: Post 4 of 12

Lesson #3: Favor

"For His anger is but for a moment, but His favor is for a lifetime or in His favor is life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

- Psalm 30:5

Let me just let you know that favor will give you what money can’t buy. I have held firm to this belief all my life, but I have TRULY seen God move in this area of my life. I have always been accustomed to living a certain way since I was small. My parents worked hard to give me the life that they were not privy to, so I have always enjoyed a comfortable life. While my parents instilled the belief that hard work should always be rewarded with nice things, they always stressed the fact that favor trumps it all.

This year I have literally been on 20 trips all over the United States. Miami, Vegas, Houston, Dallas, New Orleans, NY, Chicago, Mountains of Tennessee, Alabama, all over Florida, you name it. Now this is someone who didn’t have a traditional 9-5. I don’t even know how I did it. In the beginning of the year, I had a dream where I was in the airport with lots of luggage all around me. God told me “this is your year to travel”. Of course I was like, “God how? Where am I going to get the money?” God showed me better than He could whisper. He made a way out of no way. I received a companion pass to travel whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted, for a minimal cost. I found Swiss luggage marked down to $19.99 at Target. I was connected to clients in Texas that were willing to pay for my time and talents. Oh, and they flew me to whatever city they were in. I have done more this year than I could have ever imagined and it’s all because I have been favored.

I have learned to stop doing the math when it comes to God and money, He always makes the difference. I can vividly remember walking into H & M this summer and the clerk was marking the entire clearance area down to $5. It was something out of a dream. Follow me camera… (*Messy Mya voice*) Can you imagine walking in the store and seeing ALL your favorite pieces for 5 bucks??? I mean, I was in complete tears. I am serious. I know it was nobody but God. I spent like $50 and got pieces that totally transformed my wardrobe. This might seem materialistic, but when you pray, you need to pray specifically. More than anything, it was a desire of my heart. Whether it is as menial as a parking space to having a successful marriage, I don’t have any boundaries when it comes to prayer. I even started thrifting this year. I was always one of those really finicky people that was adamantly against going to Goodwill or Value Village. Now people are giving me gift certificates to both for Christmas. Lol. It is all about perspective and style. If you are constantly evolving both, it really doesn’t matter.

They say favor ain’t fair, and they are partially correct. Favor belongs to those who believe and those who sow . It may seem unfair that someone is experiencing success and moving quickly up their ladder of success, but we often don’t know their stories. It is really not our role to speculate. We must press towards our own destiny and not be concerned with how much they have and what we don’t. The bottom line is that we must understand this whole thing called favor. If we are diligent on our own journey, we won’t have time to sit around and question the plight of another's. Believe me, I have questioned God a time or two, but then I have to repent. There is someone sitting on the sidelines thinking the same about me. There is no way they can know how much I tithe, how much I pour into the youth, how many nights I cry myself to sleep in prayer, how much I have sacrificed, or even who I truly am. Truth to the matter is, no one ever stops to find out your story, they just see your glory. That’s cool, it’s by design. God has it where your glory will be so magnificent that people will seek you and want to hear your story. The favor on your life will be so great that your story will motivate others to believe in their own dreams and support you in yours. Favor is meant to over flow so you can be a blessing to all of those around you.

Understanding that favor makes up the difference,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 3 of 12

Lesson #2: Faith

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"- Hebrews 11:1

More than anything, I know that without God, I am nothing. This year has taught me that I have to be oblivious to what I (physically) see and focus on the things hoped for. Everything I’ve stood on faith to believe, I have received. The things that have been slow to come are obviously not finished being worked on. I’ve had to truly stand on His word with every step.

I think about why certain relationships have ended the way they did or why certain job opportunities have or haven’t presented themselves, and I merely have to stop dead in my thoughts. I have to go back to realize how God has rescued me before. There is nothing more I can do to change my future but to believe God for what I desire. More than anything, I have to realize that God will not give me more than I am capable of handling. It’s like a 3 year old asking for a new (real) car for Christmas. No parent would give a toddler a 10 ton machine right? So why would God give me things that I am not ready for?

I think about leaving a job that I thought was carved specifically for me. This was such a defining moment for me. I was a part of a dynamic management duo that was set to take the Atlanta schools by storm. Once we got wind of shady businesses practices, we began to ask questions. As you know, the moment you try to stand up for something right, you because the person that was wrong. In order to not further be a part of foolishness, I simply walked away without a fight. I didn’t put any energy into it. While I had some free time to dream, I spent some very valuable moments with my father, soaking up some valuable knowledge. Within a month, he was gone. I didn’t know why God wanted me to leave that job until I watch my dad leave the earth. I knew in that very moment that God wanted me to take time to do things that were most important, and that was to be with my dad. That one small step of faith turned out to be the best decision I ever made. Months later, my organization lost all government funding, folks went to jail, and the entire operation foiled. God wanted me out of the way.

Since the day I have left, I have had numerous opportunities to travel, work on high profile projects with celebrities, work on contracts that I would have never been able to work on, meet incredible new people, and live out my dreams. Now this my friend, is a life of faith. Not knowing if unemployment will be renewed. Not knowing if the money in my savings will be enough. Not knowing if a client’s check will clear. Not knowing if the next client will become available. Not knowing if I will get the interview. My life has truly been founded on “give us this daily our daily bread”. I have had to make myself understand that it only takes a one phone call, one moment, one person, one day, to change your entire life. (For the good). God can take everything you’ve been praying for and give it all to you in one singular moment. When I stand firm on this very belief, I am not pulled into a whirlwind of depression and fret. I just have to know that if it is to work out, then it will. If the answer doesn’t come in this very moment, then it will have to come in the next.

Finding comfort in living from faith to faith...no other choice,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 2 of 12

Lesson #1: Love

"Love....so many people use your name in vain...." -Musiq

Sigh….. love…. I guess I had to get this section out of the way early so I would just get it all out of my psyche. I remember watching Dave Chappelle numerous times and my favorite episode was when Rick James said, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” Well, I am here to add to that list, love is a hell of a drug. Lol.

While I am one of those quintessential dreamers when it comes to love and the pursuit of happiness, I always try to remain somewhat realistic. I have dream boards that date back to the 80’s. I have always had this image of a knight in shining armor to rescue me from my reality and woo me away to our own little world. Every man I meet I’m like, “Ok…is this it God? Show me a sign! What’s next?” (Always doing waaaaaaay too much… lol)

Love is a tricky thing. While someone is ready to love, they have to be ready to love you. I have learned that love is not a forced emotion; it is one that comes effortlessly. You can’t make someone love you if they don’t have the capacity to love you. While I know an individual has the capacity to love, they may not be capable of loving me in the capacity in which I need them to. This thought gives me the comfort that I need to move from situation to situation. I take each love, like, and lust as lessons, some more or less intense as the next. More importantly, I hold on to the lesson, but not the person. This is essential to protect my total being and who I’m destined to be. You can’t allow a situation to redefine all that God has created you to be. Sure, you are supposed to be a little different from each experience because you have garnered a new level of understanding and a new way of thinking, but never are you to change who God intended for you to be. After every tear dried, I realized that when I looked in the mirror, I saw the same aura of greatness. With tear filled eyes, I used to ask God why, how, when, where, what, and He merely said, “Soon”. With that, I love forward in pursuit of Him and I know somewhere along the way I will find what I’m looking for in life and I will be found for someone who has been searching for me all of his.

This year, I have met and dated some incredible men. While most of them were out of town, I have been so blessed to meet such incredible human beings. No matter how the situations ended up, I thank God for the glimpse of my final product. I didn’t think a man existed that could laugh at the same silly jokes, loved the same soul stirring music, loved his family to the end of the earth, knew what I was saying when all I was doing was crying, and could give strength merely through a touch. Yeah, this man is actually real. Why am I not with him right now you ask? Well, because out of all that greatness, I know that he is not who God wants me to be with forever. But I do know that he was everything I needed at that very moment in life. I get tears when I think about the genuine spirit of this man. He flew down to be with me in one of the hardest moments in my entire life. I will love him forever for that. He knows who he is.

When I let him go, I met an incredible man on my same journey to be all that God wants me to be. While it seemed to fit like a perfect puzzle, it still didn’t flow seamlessly. I am not ruling it out, but I am not willing to lose my mind about it. At the end of the day I am me and no one else can be. The same goes for every individual. While we are all great alone, we are magnificent when we are partnered with who God has destined for us. My perspective is that if God can send me one wonderful man after the next, surely the next can be just a magnificent. I have retired from mind reading and second guessing. When God shows or tells me something I move in that direction, and that direction only. This is sometimes hard to decipher from my female intuition and silly insecurities, but I have to constantly be in prayer.

I am very candid about my accounts because I want people to know that every situation and person is meant to push us closer to our final product. Sure I want to hold on to the “one” I thought was my ideal mate, but for whatever reason, it didn’t work. When things don’t work or find a way to fizzle out, I leave it alone. I cry about it, get mad about it, scream about it, but have to move on. If I have learned nothing more this year, I have learned not to stay in one place for too long. This is essential when loving. Love is such an encompassing emotion it can derail your course to excellence if you don’t move in wisdom. You have to be careful who you love and how you love. You can love with your total being and realized that you a) have nothing left for yourself and b) you are giving away more love than they are even willing to give back to you. Even through my disappointments in love, I have decided that I’m going to release it all into the atmosphere. If it’s meant, then it’s meant. I used to hate that saying because I felt like it was a lazy way to view what you know you want. God showed me that it is essential to let go of what you THINK you want so you can ultimately get what is promised. Don’t get me wrong, I dream and have preferences, but I am still open to what God has. I have to be open in order to make it to my final destination.

Still loving freely,

~Mel

Ode to 2010: Post 1 of 12

Close out letter to 2010......

So, as I say goodbye to 2010, I sit in silence. Like I am waiting for my named to be called for an academy award, or like I am waiting to jump out of an airplane to sky dive, or like I am about to give my first trial sermon over in Africa before 1 million people. I am waiting to walk into the next level of my life with great expectancy . I expect my favor to be increased. I expect my love to over flow. I expect to be a blessing to others every day that I live. I expect to be a secret millionaire that funds people’s dreams. I expect to be debt free. I expect to show people that God is real and that my path was not in vain. I expect to shatter all preconceived notions. I expect to be greater than ever before. Above all, I expect to be in the will of God, doing exactly what He has destined for me to do. With all of these expectations, I am not above God changing the plan totally. I am willing to give up what I know to have what God says I am to have. I have just that much faith.

So, Ms. 2010 I say goodbye and goodnight. I thank you for your lessons, but I don’t ever want to meet anyone quite like yourself. While I have been strengthened through this journey, I don’t think I would choose to do a repeat performance. I am grateful for the lessons, but I am even more grateful that this year is gracefully bowing out.

The time is now to usher in a new season of jubilee. The time is now to prepare for all the promises that were written. The time is now to live out the dreams that keep me up at night. The time is now to do something different. The time is now to live. That’s exactly what I plan to do.

~Mel

Faith is refusing to stop looking beyond....

I refuse to stop believing. I refuse to stop dreaming. I refuse to stop looking beyond what I currently see. I refuse.

Over the past year I have seen God work miracles that I literally never thought possible. I've replayed the chain of events over and over in my mind and I realized that God had me in his hands all along. No matter what I wanted or thought, He was in total control. The more I doubted, the longer it took for manifestation. Miracles are triggered by belief. Mere faith. That's all.

One of the most intriguing passages in the bible is "without faith it is impossible to please God". (Hebrews 11:6) Sounds simple enough right? All you have to do is have faith and keep it moving right? Right... easier said than done. Faith is easy to exert when everything is fluid and moving smoothly. Faith is that back up against the wall type stuff. Faith is the nothing left in your account and you still manage to write a faith check when the pastor calls for it at the alter. Faith is believing that God will provide healing when 3 doctors tell you that you won’t make it. Faith is looking in the face of death and saying you know your God will take care of you. Faith is knowing your unemployment benefits will expire soon, but sow a seed into the life of someone else. Faith is waking up every morning believing God will provide fresh manna from Heaven like before. Faith is moving to a new city with no sight of a job and knowing that God will open up a door. Faith is saying that you will be debt free by the end of the year and not believing anything different. Faith is that radical level of thinking. All of that makes God's heart full. He becomes so overwhelmed with emotion at your exertion of faith that He finds extra ways to bless you. It's called overflow. When you please God, you receive things that you don’t even ask Him for.

The wonderful thing about faith is that is starts within. You don’t have to order anything special online, or talk to one of the world's top experts, or even have a conference with others. You can begin operating in faith with a mere thought. It can all be done within a blink of an eye. Last week I was lying in bed and couldn't sleep. I flipped the TV on to Mike Murdock and he was talking about sowing a faith seed. He spoke about when he first began in ministry and God blessed him with his first $50. As soon as he got that money, God told him to sow it into a family in the service. He said he fought tooth and nail, but he eventually sowed that seed. On the way out of the service. A man walked up to him and shoved $50 dollars in his hand. God told him to sow the money he JUST got and he did. The next day, someone came up to him and sowed $100 to him and another couple sowed a whole new wardrobe to him. So you know what I did right? I immediately got my check book. I said, "Ok God, let me see what you're talking about. I need a sign". I wrote a check to my mom for $50 and wrote her a note to say that I was going to one day turn that $50 into $500,000. She was in tears and said she blessed the seed. So I leave to go run errands the next day and I see a small envelope addressed to me in the mail from DC. I looked at it like, "who in the world is writing to me?" I opened it up and it was letter from one of sorority sisters/spiritual partners telling me what a blessing I have been to her life and enclosed was, I will let you guess, yes, a $50 check. Within 24 hours, God had already replaced what I thought I was sacrificing. When she gave me that seed, I immediately resowed that seed into my mother. Instead of paying to get my hair done, I went and had hers done. So the next day I went to my favorite consignment shop to look for winter coats and cute pieces and I was able to get everything I wanted for $20. If I showed you what I bought, you would think I was a professional liar. lol. No one can beat God in a math game. He's a master of it all.

You see, it was never about the $50 for God, it was all about the faith. It was the faith that God would replace all that I have sown above and beyond what I could ever ask or think. No matter what the numbers look like, God's math always reigns supreme. Regardless of what I may have wanted to happen, God has always been in total control. I have seen God take the little that was in my hand and make it much more in His. It didn’t happen until I let go though. All the things I have ever wanted have come from believing. Whether it has been something material like a coat, a car, or a pair of shoes, or something more substantial like a scholarship, a spiritual breakthrough, or healing in my body. God has shown me that when I totally surrender, He can truly go to work on my behalf. I think about when I was little and I wanted my dad to fix something. I never doubted that he couldn't do it. I would be like, "Here daddy, you fix it," and he would say "ok baby girl, daddy's got it". No doubt, I knew it would be done. Not one worry.

The same thing with God. We can’t say God fix this marriage, this relationship, this job situation, this pain, and then keep looking over His shoulder to make sure He is working on it to our liking. That's not how He operates. He wants to know that we trust Him totally. No sense in giving it to God if we still have our hands on it. That's not how the mechanic works is it? Does the watch repair man ask you to come behind the glass counter to work on your watch with him? Does the doctor allow you to be awake during major surgery? No. Surgery is his area of expertise and you trust him to work it out right? Right. The same with God. God's most earnest desire is to do a complete work in us. From start to finish, He wants us to be all that we can be. He already believes in us, it is up to us to believe in Him. Once we line up with what He believes, even the sky won’t be the limit.

After the year I've had, nothing really shakes me like it used to. I know that God has a total plan for my life. A plan that I have nothing to do with. After witnessing my father take his last breath, I know that God has a total different plan that I have ever imagined. On March 12th, 2010, I totally took off my rose colored glasses and looked at life for what it was. No longer was I consumed with the shoulda, coulda, and wouldas. I knew in that very moment that the purpose was in me couldn't end up in a white bag, being shipped off to a morgue. I knew that if I didn’t trust God totally, I could end up living life in circles. I refuse to be that person. If no one else had faith, my daddy did. That's how I know God is a God that operates on His own plan. Some things can’t be explained or put into words. But in the very moment my father died, something in me began to live. My faith took a life of its own. I began to see God in a totally different light. I saw God as this massive figure with a plan of His own. Every dream board, dream book, and dream book mark I had made for 2010 didn’t have my dad missing from it. In that very moment, God showed me that just because things happened that weren't in my plan doesn’t mean they weren't a part of the overall plan. From that day on, faith was all I had because faith was all I knew. Many people thought my faith would waiver, but instead it started to get stronger as the days went on.

The Word says faith without works is dead right? (James 2:20) So everything we do should show our faith in action. So if I believe God for a trip, I should always have my luggage ready. If I believe God for a job, I should already have my work clothes separated in my closet. If I believe God for a husband, I shouldn't be giving my body away to every man I meet, right? Right. I should still be moving according to what I believe God wants for my life. If something is not in His plan, then it won’t come together. If it is, then it will be. Can't fret over things I can't change, that's the bottom line.

Faith is one of the most powerful, underrated tools we possess as believers. We must hold on to what God promised and never stop believing. If you do nothing else... keep holding on...!

Moving in faith and looking beyond my right now...

~Mel

Silence is not good bye forever....

Lately I have been quiet y'all and I'm sorry. It has just been one of those months, well...years. Now, I have had my share of ups and downs in relationships, but God has shown me once again that I can never get too comfortable. In everything, always expect the unexpected and stay prepared. God is always allowing curve balls. Good thing I am well equipped for the ride.

Recently, someone close to me decided that he needed a moment of silence to hear from God for a while. *sigh* This has been tough for me. Very. But how can I argue with that? He became my refuge from all the craziness in my world. In my quest to make us work, I never considered that it might be a little overwhelming because he is on his own journey. Is it just me or is this "silence" thing enough to derail your whole train of thought? lol. A much as I love to talk, not talking (as much) has been tough. Silence is merely an interruption of regularly scheduled communication. Not good bye forever..... I guess...

Throughout my relationships and life, I have developed the mindset that, 'what is meant will happen and everything that doesn't come together, just wasn't meant'. You simply can not make love happen where it wasn't meant. It's like planting a tree in soil that's not equipped for its growth.

Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires-Song of Solomon 2:7

Man, Love is a funny thing. Easy to say, harder to show. The moment it leaves your lips, you're immediately held doubly accountable for your actions. Have you ever said, "well if you love me then...." Yeah, I have to. Really, if its truly love, there's no need for 'if ,then' statements. Actions should speak loud enough for you. If you love someone, you have to love them enough to help them grow, even if that means getting out of the way.

I have gone through points in my relationships where I had nothing to say. Not that I wasn't happy, but I felt like we were taking a trip with no destination. If we were going to pursue it any further, it had to be marriage or just 'homies'. Nothing in between. And then... there is that gray area where you just don't know what's next.... that's where God is REALLY in control.

I think a lot of my girlfriends and I are experiencing the same things right now. Men that seem ideal for our 'forevers', but there seems to be one thing. We often find ourselves questioning whether 'this is it' or if God wants us to go the other way. I've talked to a few friends in general terms and they say the same things. Out of no where, their loved one took a sabbatical from there routine. That particular lapse in normalcy really derailed their emotions and they felt lost, without explanation, not sure about what to do next. I have learned that with love, it doesn't have to be complicated. Either you're in it for the long haul, or it will end as quickly as it started.

It's ok to be invisible to others as long as the one you love sees you. (GOD)

I recently found myself in a situation where the person I cared for deeply started to pull away. I found every reason why it was my fault. I really couldn't figure out what I did. I cried so many times to Eric Benet's "Sometimes I cry" that I cant even play it without my mascara ending up in my lap. I pleaded with God to reveal what was going on. The only reply God sent was to "let it go".... You know those were fighting words for me... lol.. As hard as I fought to make this "right", God told me to let it go. I just couldn't come to grips to what God was saying. But as time progressed, God showed me it takes greater power to let something go than it does to hold on to it. It has nothing to do with settling, it has everything to do with having faith. If something belongs to you, it belongs to you.

The moment I didn't have any answers, I began to search for them... in the Word. -HOLD ON A MINUTE- You see, it was all by design. God wanted me to take a break from wanting that to work to refocus on what He wanted for me. Now, I am not ruling out this man as my mate, but that's irrelevant in the grander scheme of things. God's plan for me reigns supreme. Whether he or whoever is standing next to me. My purpose in life still remains. God wants me to see if I can trust him to send me another just as great or to make him greater for me. True indeed, I feel like we were carved for one another, but I cant waste these moments in trying to figure that out. If he's mine, he will return. No other woman will quite fit the bill if I'm made just for him.

About a month ago I went to my college homecoming. Let me just say that while I consider myself saved and filled with the holy ghost, it is something about being back on that campus that wakes up every carnal fiber I have left... (which I could of sworn was all gone). Well anyway, my infamous ex was there, along with a slew of other past loves and potential "buddies". It took EVERYTHING in me to remain saved. Now before I left home for homecoming, I prayed for strength to make my current relationship work. While it is long distance, I have never thought of being with anyone else. I am(was) determined to make it work no matter what. I am not, nor have I ever been, a cheater, so I wasn't going to make this weekend an exception. Of course, I was rocking my cheetah print and was feeling "some type of way". I guess that animal print gave off the "hot and ready" signal or maybe it was my soup coolers piled with ruby red lipstick. Who knows? But anyway... my ex.. hmmmmm... let's just say he wasn't acting like he was with anyone. I laughed it up for a minute, but I knew nothing would come of it. I mean, he chose her and not me, what would I look like? As the weekend progressed, every time one of my potential flings tried to hit me up, my phone shut off or the battery died instantly. It was the craziest thing ever. I was like, "what is going on"... I could do nothing but laugh because I knew it was nothing but God. I had no intentions of slipping away with anyone, but the fact that the opportunity never transpired was even more of a miracle. Of course, I checked in every few hours with the boo to let him know I was being a good girl.. he was proud, so was I. I came back from homecoming just as "good" as when I left. And then....the plot thickens....

I get back from homecoming thinking everything was perfect when I was hit with a 180 degree turn around . Here I was thinking there was going to be some golden surprise for being a good girl during a hedonism weekend filled with wanton desires. I wasn't. Out of nowhere, it felt like everything we were working towards was in vain. It all changed. He got really quiet with no explanation and I had no earthly explanation for it . Of course, I was left thinking a million different things. I ran back to my first love ... the Word. I knew I wouldn't go wrong falling back in love with tried and true promises. The moment he stopped talking, God's voice began to resonate louder than ever before. I began to have these wild and vivid dreams. I began to foresee things that were to come. I began to speak things into existence more than ever before. I realized that his moment of silence might have been ordained by God. It was like I was cheating on God and He was no longer having it. If it meant taking my honey away for a brief period, then so be it . I was left to wonder why God wouldn't just let me have both. When will the balance between the 2 be enough? That's an answer that I am still on the quest to find.

So now what am I doing in the meantime? Becoming a better version of who I already am. I think this year has been so tumultuous emotionally that I need a break to decide what's important. After being the backbone for everyone, encouraging people even in the midst of my own storm, waking up every morning to give someone a fresh word, I need a few moments of silence. I've always been the type of person who used love as an escape from reality. A place where I could hide. But when the covers are drawn on that whimsical hiding place, I am once again faced with the reality that if I don't deal with the things I've run from, I will eventually end up running in circles. Right back where I started.

During these past few weeks of depth self discovery, I have realized that God isn't finished with me yet, if fact, He's just getting started. Every miracle that has been performed this year has shown me that God merely wants me to seek Him daily. As a result of my life's twists and turns, I have had no other choice. One of the best things that has happened to me was an ignored phone call/email/message. God was telling me that the only person that had the answers I was seeking was HIM. I could scour the earth and come up empty every time until I realized that God is the way, the truth, and the light.

As a lover of love and all things related, I think it's worth the wait. No matter the battle struggle, or war. Love is worth it. God has a love for each and everyone of us that trumps any love we can find on earth. He gives us an extra treat by allowing us to find our soul mates. In the event that you haven't been as so fortunate, don't lose hope, it does exist. The moment you stop believing, is the moment that you stop attracting it. It's out there. Listen, if I can hold my head up and keep believing, surely you can. I know that my purpose is in line with my significant other, so I can't play any games when it comes to who I bond with. If I have waited this long for the "right" person, it's no use in half stepping, and you shouldn't either.

Don't take offense to silence, it might be the best thing to have ever happened to your love. Only time will tell.....

~Mel