EX-Factor: Don't Fall for Counterfeits

Let me tell you, the dating scene in Atlanta is a trip. They can say what they want, but I swear I meet a "decent" man every day. I'm not overly impressed though. These men are impeccable on paper, but I just feel that "umph" when we finally meet up or talk on the phone.

While companionship is great, the ultimate goal is partnership.

I've come to notice as I get older, my lists of "must-haves" for men is getting shorter and shorter. I am no longer concerned with the menial things that in my younger days were top priority. As God prepares me to be the woman I am to be, I am noticing a change in my wants and my needs. God is beginning to change my sight all together. Last year, I met and "fell" for 2 guys that I really had no business even entertaining. Well, maybe on the surface. As I look in retrospect, neither of them were truly who God told me I was to be with, but I still allowed them to have me. (Not like that..lol) Now, I remember asking one of them about fasting and praying and he was like, "Man, I've never in my life done that. Why would I stop eating meat just to pray, that's dumb." You would've thought I'd run to the hills and never call him again. But no, I stayed right there boo'd up like he was the "one". When I tell you not only did God shut that down, but I have never spoken to him again.


The word counterfeit means," to forge: make a copy of with the intent to deceive." Now, doesn't that sound like a distraction? Something to get you off course or to mess you up? These counterfeits in our lives may seem like the real deal for a minute, but then they show their true colors and you have to find a way to pick up the pieces and move on.

Sometimes, God will allow us to encounter counterfeits, but he gives us the discretion to walk away. Being the God that he is, he allows us to endure the process and then politely steps in before we get too hurt. It's kind of how a mother allows a baby to fall once or twice as they learn to walk. Just enough to a little hurt to remember the pain, but not hurt to the point where we can't stand back up to walk again.

Going back to the EX's, I can't even believe I settled and allowed myself to be with these guys. Now, don't get me wrong. They were wonderful men on paper, had great jobs, great personalities, loved their mamas, college educated, made decent money, but their relationships with God did not match or supersede my own. They were so close to the real thing. Like those counterfeit designer purses. One step up from a knock-off, but still not the real thing. The kind where you can back $400 for, because it looks JUST like the real thing, instead of saving up $2000 for the real deal.

I know what it is. It like I'm hearing this imaginary clock ticking where I feel this is my "time" and I "have" to be settled at this point. But you can't rush anything to happen until is absolutely time for it. God just won't let me settle.

I'm not going to make just anybody my somebody.

God is so amazing. He's allowed me to make it to the point where I can now see that none of them compare to the man He has set aside for me. I get so full as I write this because I know my "him" is somewhere thinking about when he's going to meet me. Every time I give audience to a counterfeit, I take away from the valuable "good thing" that my future husband is to have. Don't get me wrong, it is hard to sit idle and wait on who God has intended for me, but I know it is for a purpose and it wont be long. I will have fun with my friends on the phone and pass time with, but I know the intended purpose for it all.

So sisters, as you patiently wait for your "Boaz" (if you don't know who that is, please study the story of Ruth and get blessed!), understand that you have a checklist that you need to be working on. Read Proverbs 31 and become the woman that God intends you to be. As you get closer to who that woman is, you will become closer to God and he will hand deliver you in the path of that "one".

Patiently waiting and fervently cleaning house....

~Mel