Ok, many of you all know (or don't) that the non-profit world is my "thing". I love working with youth, helping the helpless, writing grants, putting on fab community events, you name it. Well recently, we applied for this mega grant that were were pretty much a "shoe in" for. Well, we didn't get it. For like 6.3534535 seconds, my world stood completely stood still. I just KNEW this would be my next big thing. It was the salary I wanted, the flexibility I needed, and something I knew would be guaranteed. You know in life, things aren't always guaranteed.
So, as my reality began to set in and my brain began to scramble, I was simply speechless. I mean, this was what I was supposed to be doing. How could something so guaranteed be such a fleeting thought? Just that quick. As I tried to scream and cry, God simply would not allow me to do so. I kept hearing his words, do not fret, do not fret. My flesh was like, "God are you serious? How could I not fret? " Again He was saying, do not fret, do not fret. I sat completely sat still and let his words of comfort take hold of me.
In all my 27 years, I have not been more dependent on God and His will for my life, than I am RIGHT now. I've never been more bare before Him, seeking true guidance and understanding. As believers, we have to spiritually always be in this place. It shouldn't always take a moment of humbleness, or a despair to fall on our face to show true gratitude for His many mercies.
As soon as I got the news from my boss about the grant, I asked her how she was feeling, she said, "Encouraged". I'm like, huh? She said she had faith in knowing that God would not make her ashamed because too many people are watching .She told me that when you are steadfast in the Lord's work, you are not to worry yourself with the details of the "how" but get busy with the "what" that He has asked of you. -pause-
That's when the little balloon popped up in my head that said, "MESSAGE". That was it. God doesn't want us to get so caught up in the victory that we thought we didn't win, but instead, gear up for the greater victory He is preparing us to win. You see, when we begin to get upset with life's outcomes, it's like like we're doubting God's ability to pull us through. God can turn ANYTHING around. Whether it's a doctor's report, a job situation, a financial hold, an addiction, a custody battle, and even a disaster like the one in Haiti. God can do it all.
Yes, in our human state, it is easy for us to look at our right now and think it's our forever, but that is simply not the case. In an instant, God can turn something around so quickly, we won't even know how it happened. But if we throw in the towel, we may never get to witness that manifestation.
So, after the dust of my despair begin to dissipate, I got right back to work. I began to look for more grants, apply for more positions, build more partnerships, develop more programs, and move forward. I was not going to let the enemy sneak in to say anything contrary to what God promised. We have to get busy, not worried.
I'm telling you, the best thing to do when you're filled with angst and anxiety is to fill your mouth with praises and your mind with new visions. Show God what you're truly made of!
I leave you with this incredible commentary off Psalm 37:7-20. As many times as I read the bible, it never ceases to amaze me at how on time the word is.
Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary
Psalm 37:7-20 Let us be satisfied that God will make all to work for good to us. Let us not discompose ourselves at what we see in this world. A fretful, discontented spirit is open to many temptations. For, in all respects, the little which is allotted to the righteous, is more comfortable and more profitable than the ill-gotten and abused riches of ungodly men. It comes from a hand of special love. God provides plentifully and well, not only for his working servants, but for his waiting servants. They have that which is better than wealth, peace of mind, peace with God, and then peace in God; that peace which the world cannot give, and which the world cannot have. God knows the believer's days. Not one day's work shall go unrewarded. Their time on earth is reckoned by days, which will soon be numbered; but heavenly happiness shall be for ever. This will be a real support to believers in evil times. Those that rest on the Rock of ages, have no reason to envy the wicked the support of their broken reeds.
Psalm 37:7-20 Let us be satisfied that God will make all to work for good to us. Let us not discompose ourselves at what we see in this world. A fretful, discontented spirit is open to many temptations. For, in all respects, the little which is allotted to the righteous, is more comfortable and more profitable than the ill-gotten and abused riches of ungodly men. It comes from a hand of special love. God provides plentifully and well, not only for his working servants, but for his waiting servants. They have that which is better than wealth, peace of mind, peace with God, and then peace in God; that peace which the world cannot give, and which the world cannot have. God knows the believer's days. Not one day's work shall go unrewarded. Their time on earth is reckoned by days, which will soon be numbered; but heavenly happiness shall be for ever. This will be a real support to believers in evil times. Those that rest on the Rock of ages, have no reason to envy the wicked the support of their broken reeds.
Prayerfully and peacefully,
~Mel
3 comments:
Thank you for posting that. I needed to read it. Congrats on your business. God is in the blessing business & whatever you are dreaming for, it will be much bigger than you anticipated.
awesome! need to hear this today and i'm definitely going to save that commentary on Psalms 37...thanks Mel!
oh and i'll be praying for greater opportunity for you!
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